Are we getting wackier team shenanigans this season? It sure seems like it. This week’s includes Quinn wearing the “welcome to NCIS” sweater Abby knitted for her that literally says “WELCOME TO NCIS” in enormous block letters.
It’s tradition! McGee got knitted socks, which he still wears 13 years later (“The trick is, you don’t wash them”), and Bishop got a friendship bracelet, which she’s still wearing (seems to me like she got the short end of the stick). Then they all look at Torres, who defensively says, “I don’t wear vests, okay, and I definitely don’t wear foo-foo colors.”
Of course, Abby comes in and gushes about how great Quinn looks, then asks Torres if he’s cold. Oh man, Abby is the worst kind of knitting gift-giver. You hand over the item, and what happens next is out of your control. Guilt is a terrible gift, Abbs. I will say, though, that type of intarsia on the lettering is quite hard to do, so kudos to Ms. Sciuto for her technique.
Anyway, to distract from the vest-less Torres, Quinn asks about the tiny pocket Abby knitted in her sleeve. Abby says it’s a secret-agent pocket so Quinn can hide things, “like a micro-recorder or a safe-deposit key or a cyanide capsule.” And then the team’s called to a crime scene.
At the top of the hour, “Come on Feel the Noize” was blaring in a rat-infested basement as a woman in chains beat her captor to death with a small dumbbell. While I initially guessed she wasn’t a Quiet Riot fan, it turns out she’s Navy Petty Officer Kelly Ristow, who’s been missing for five days. Her fingerprints are found in the basement, but she’s not there anymore.
A burner phone in the basement leads to a territorial pissing match with Metro P.D. Det. Dan Campbell (seen last season giving the team trouble in “Viral”), so Quinn sneaks the SIM card out in her secret-agent pocket. Abby’s knitting skills to the rescue! Also on the scene is Agent Francis, Quinn’s former paramour, who’s disappointed she hasn’t returned his three phone calls. “Hint taken,” he says when she tries to let him down gently, and I’m suddenly worried this is going to end with stalking, breaking and entering, and a restraining order. (It should be noted Francis is played by Tony Gonzalez, former NFL-er and current studio analyst for NFL Today.)
Anyway, Kelly is apprehended at the airport, battered, freaked out, and screaming for her husband. At NCIS HQ, Kelly says she was kidnapped from her home, while Bishop and Quinn struggle to understand why her husband, Chris, didn’t report her missing — and why, when she called him to say she escaped, he asked her to meet him at the airport and then didn’t show. She hasn’t called you back, guy. Move on.
While they assure Kelly she killed her captor in self-defense, they want to keep her in protective custody — possibly from her own husband, who’s now missing. In fact, he quit his job at the law firm where he worked as a night security guard five days ago, when Kelly was abducted. The Ristow house is a mess (obviously the result of a search) and their dog, Frank, seen in framed photos, is missing. Not Frank. NOT FRANK!
The plot gets even thicker when the SIM card reveals deleted text messages that show the kidnapper took orders — from someone who told him to hold Kelly while they “made a deal.” Also, Chris was in debt and Kelly was heavily insured, leaving the team to wonder if he engineered the kidnapping himself.
They’re further suspicious when they learn Kelly’s sister has Frank and that Chris called to check on him immediately after hearing from Kelly. As Abby puts it, “I love animals, but I think I would love my husband more. I mean, I don’t know.”
More bad news for Chris: He’s listed as the CEO of QFire, an international corporation with officers in the Cayman Islands, Panama, and Ireland. It has no website, employees, or products, but it lists $3 million in assets. You guys, this plot is so thick.
When the team finds out that Chris purchased two tickets for him and Kelly to fly to Mexico, Bishop and Quinn go to the bank where Chris retrieved their passports from their safety deposit box. There, they find Chris’ car…with Chris in the trunk, bullets in his head, heart, and knee.
NEXT: Russian nesting dolls and cobalt vests