Ladies and gentlemen, Jade St. John is still here, and she’s after Luke. “The Storm Has Just Begin” kicks off with her taking Mr. Wheeler (who has decided she is not the fluff he once assumed) on their first date that he doesn’t know is a date to—guess where. The Country Music Hall of Fame! To show him a picture of… himself. Not Jade’s best move, but I’ll accept that a popstar such as she might not have much experience with normal dates. Then she cuts to the chase (and leaves me wondering if maybe this isn’t a date that he doesn’t know is a date but actually not a date—more on this later), she wants to make a country album, but she needs a Nashville stalwart such as he to help her gain credibility. Perhaps a duet? She wonders.
Unfortunately, Luke has forgotten about that one time he and Sadie recorded a duet in five minutes, completely unplanned, and says he doesn’t have time. Of all the voices on the show, his is my favorite, and you know Xtina has a little something going on that isn’t so bad so this is not the news I am looking for—I need this duet. As consolation, he invites her to a charity function, supporting Teddy’s music education program, that evening and promises to introduce her to a bunch of country crooners who will surely jump at the chance to work with her. Is she laying on the syrup a little bit in this opening? Yes. Do I have a sweet tooth? Yes. I hope she stays. She is the perfect nemesis for Juliette now that Juliette and Rayna are over their series-opening riff and Layla is… honestly it was always a wolf bite versus a bee sting with those two; Layla cannot take on Juliette solo.
Speaking of Juliette, she’s back from L.A.! Is she upset that Avery fired the nanny and brought in his mom? Honestly, she doesn’t really care—she’s going to a party tonight. Yes, same charity function. I apparently completely forgot what a lameass dad Avery was last week, making Juliette feeling like a milking machine with no other purpose, and am really irritated with Juliette’s decision. These two… so much potential guys. They’ll figure this out, right?
Anyway, Juliette gets to the party and is walking a very complicated red carpet. Jade is stealing her spotlight (first offense: one does not steal Juliette’s thunder), while Luke tries using Jade to make Rayna jealous (of course she’s there! she’s performing with the girls as a favor to Teddy), and everyone except Jade comes out looking less than stellar. Unfortunately, Layla and Jeff use this time to enter and reveal they’re sitting at the same table as Juliette. Juliette, girl, it’s going to be a long one.
Speaking of long…erm…nope that doesn’t work, but I really want to tell you about Will and Kevin. They’ve been in bed together for the last four days. Will gets up and it pains me. Lay there forever guys! Do not get out of bed! You are beautiful and the world out there is complicated! And sure enough, as soon as Will’s up, Kevin breaks the news that they’ll be at the same charity event tonight (yes, same one!), but he’s already invited a date. Will is stoic, though what choice does he really have given his discomfort with coming out…
So earlier today while Rayna, the girls, and Deacon were rehearsing he was coughing a little bit—remember this. By the time they get to the party they look great and even better, Deacon decides to answer his phone right there in the banquet hall and it’s the doctors telling him there is a liver on its way! Obviously Rayna is going with him, and Maddie refuses to be left behind, but Daphne has to stay because it’s Teddy’s event and Teddy needs to raise money for his blackmailing prostitute, lest we have forgotten how shamtastic this charity event event is. Daphne, as the world’s cutest, most-talented child, laments that she can’t perform now that Maddie has left—but Teddy has a plan. He enlists Luke Wheeler to help and well, Luke agrees. Rayna, hope this is okay!
NEXT: Get ready for your heart to explode…