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Mistresses recap: Unreliable Witness

Luca is still dead and Joss is still in trouble.

Posted on

Jeff Weddell/ABC


TV Show
Current Status:
In Season
run date:

Well. Here we are. We’re still stuck in this dreadful murder plot. Joss is a bad client and has now spun out so far she thinks Calista has been stalking her this whole time. Karen is, again, the reasonable one (always a bit unsettling), and will be helping Joss pay her legal bills if she can find a good lawyer. Hey, I have a question: Doesn’t Joss have an in with Dominick, you know, her almost brother-in-law? Hey, on that note: anyone else remember Savi?

Poor Marc wakes up after having broken his sobriety, an empty bottle of something that looks strong nearby. I think he’s lucky he’s woken up in the right house and in the right (dry) bed. April comes in and comments that his face looks like hot garbage. Marc is surly and prickly, as in-pain and panicky alcoholics tend to be, with a nice heaping measure of defensiveness on top. His mood is not helped by April chirping about her date with Blair later.

Calista is meeting with the cop who is rattling off all the women Luca has slept with. I love that whoever is playing this cop is seriously putting her back right into this role. Like, she is going for it in spectacular fashion. She tries to goad Calista by bringing up all the affairs but Calista is too wily for such tricks.

Harry can’t get the new himbo at his bar to learn how to make a tequila sunrise, so is shocked when the young thing is the one in the know that Calista’s husband has been murdered. Immediately we cut to Joss who ignores a call from Harry. She and Karen are meeting with a super smooth and handsome (and jeeze, am I old or does he look real young?) lawyer named David and Karen clearly likes the cut of his jib. He advises Joss that when she goes in to speak to the police, she go from suspect to star witness. He’s hired!

Eegads, we come back from commercial during post-coital afterglow with Blair and April. Everything is cute and great till April spies the picture of Blair with his dead wife looking at them from the wall. She feels weird. He explains she’s the first one he’s brought back to the house—though he’s quick to make clear, not the first woman he’s been with. Thanks for clarifying, Blair.

Calista comes home to, like, a Sound of Music greeting from the staff. Wilson even tells her to hydrate—now that is LA affection! Patty, her no-nonsense lawyer who is quickly becoming my favorite character, tells her to pull it together. She can’t talk to Joss (though Calista is quick to tell Patty she doesn’t think Joss did it), and she needs to start wearing black and make a stab at looking like she’s in mourning. Okay, it’s clear to me now that the little model, Eva, is the murderer. So show, how many more episodes will you be dragging this on?

Harry shows up at Karen’s house. Do you guys also feel the energy get kicked up a notch whenever Harry and Joss are onscreen together? Because, yes! But oh, no, Joss is not feeling Harry nor his cute/weird pronunciation of “Joss.” She visibly flinches when he tries to touch her, tells him she knows he slept with Niko, and huffs out the door. Harry tells Karen it was just a one night thing. Karen is all wise, and we’re all just supposed to ignore the fact that she just got out of a major relationship with a married couple? Where are those guys anyway?

Joss is answering questions with the police lady—still going for it—and gets taken on a weird tangent about Carlos the gardener, and whether or not she had access to the basement. David, hot lawyer wunderkind, doesn’t not care for the direction these questions are heading and puts a stop to the proceedings. Outside, Karen is having a maybe panic attack and David admits that something about those questions rubbed him the wrong way.

Marc comes home and hears the siren call of frozen vodka from the freezer. This is a sad and also realistic storyline and hard to make fun of.

Calita is planning the funeral—orchids over lilies, natch—and is inspired to send some to Joss.

Blair shows up at April’s shop and seems to be Mr. Perfect yet again. He’s brought a dozen roses and assures her that he’s moved the pictures out of the room and that he sees a real future with April. Sigh.

NEXT: Flowers… not always a favorite