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Mistresses recap: Into the Woods

You’ll have to wait till the end of the episode to get the biggest surprise.

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Jack Rowand/ABC


TV Show
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In Season
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We open with Joss and Harry in bed. I guess I’m supposed to be feeling the afterglow and how cute they are being (and they are), but I’m incredibly distracted by how good these two look. Like, who wakes up looking like this? But whatever, the idea here is that they’re grinningly giddy about taking a trip to intimate-town. Joss asks the classic what-are-we question, and Harry answers “Happy,” which I think is a great answer but Joss doesn’t seem to think so. She rolls over and looks downright worried. Or maybe she’s just thinking about whether she has morning breath?

Calista’s cheating, jerky husband is berating some department store guy on the phone. He sure seems swell. Calista doesn’t waste any time: she confronts him about the model who claimed she slept with him. Luca is all smooth talking and saying the right dismissive things about that chick and all the others. Seems like someone has all the answers, wouldn’t you say? Calista, however, is visibly softening. When he tells her he wants to celebrate their 10-year anniversary because the date still means something to him, you can actually see how badly she wants to believe him. Ruh-roh.

April is waiting to meet Lucy’s headmaster. In he walks and heeeeellllo handsome! April gets all flustered till she hears why she’s been summoned. Lucy’s GPA has dropped, which puts her scholarship at risk. Lucy is also forging signatures too—these are all bad signs. April explains about the whole dead dad not dead then dead again thing, and Headmaster Handsome agrees to cut her some slack. He also encourages her to think about sending Lucy to some outdoor retreat, cause hey it worked for his kid. The thought bubble above April’s head reads clearly: Drat, married! Of course!

Marc is charming Harry at the Wunderbar with his stories of working in Sydney and partying with some dude name Spike. Harry asks him to make him a drink and Marc complies to both Harry and Niko’s (ugh) satisfaction. He gets the gig but doesn’t tell Harry he’s in recovery when Harry tells him to make himself one. Hmm.

Vivian comes to Karen’s apartment to talk. She’s worried that Alec is having an affair: what other possible explanation could there be for him being out of the office all day and not returning her calls? Karen informs Vivian that in fact Alec was with her all day. Why wouldn’t Alec tell his wife about this? Vivian, understandably, is shook and leaves. We, like Karen, are left to wonder why ourselves.

When she talks it over with April, Karen says she feels guilty and she doesn’t know why. April, bless her, is like: well why didn’t he tell Vivian? Karen is concerned and is dying to get herself totally all up in these people’s marriage, you can tell. Just then though, thank goodness, Joss comes in with a falsely cheery, “I slept with Harry!” She’s freaking out, it seems, because Harry didn’t jump to define what they were besides saying he was happy. The other women gently point out that Joss, historically, hasn’t been all that great on the commitment front. Joss decides maybe Harry needs more reassurance.

Calista fesses up to Joss—who clearly isn’t buying a word of new leaf Luca—that she still has feelings for Luca and he has feelings for her. She talks a lot about how long their marriage is and how they built it together and blah blah blah. Joss’s face says that she thinks her new friend and boss is nuts but is down to help regardless.

Karen has a weird hallway chat with Dr. Alec, which mainly involves him pulling lint off her neck. Oh boy.

NEXT: Joss tries to take her new relationship to the express lane