John P Fleenor/FOX
Sara Netzley
October 30, 2017 AT 09:00 PM EDT

Lucifer

type
TV Show
genre
Fantasy
run date
01/25/16
performer
Tom Ellis, Lauren German
broadcaster
Fox
seasons
3
Current Status
In Season

We gave it a B

Now, a little too late, Lucifer hands Charlotte a drink and tells her she’s not crazy. When she confesses that it felt like she was trapped in Hell, Lucifer confirms that yeah, she probably was. If so, she wants to know how to keep from going back. “Avoid devious and dastardly things from now on, as boring as that is,” Lucifer advises. She says that’s tough when you’re knowingly impeding a homicide investigation.

Yep, she’s been sitting on the security footage, which the LAPD is extra interested in now that Ella’s discovered that Simon would’ve been dead of renal failure within a few days anyway and the fixer told them that Pudding Plus and Heavenly Pudding are merging. This means Charlotte’s firm now represents basically every person of interest.

Charlotte arrives with the security footage, hoping to clear her clients and her conscience. The scuffle does happen off camera, but the sharp-eyed Ella notices something that makes her slap the Pudding Plus cup right out of Dan’s hand: tubs of melamine and cyanuric acid, which, when combined, create renal failure.

So Pudding Plus has a poison product and no plans of pulling it. Charlotte assumes it’s the same cold-blooded corporate calculation that a faulty airbag manufacturer makes. Sure, people will die and lawsuits will ensue, but the payouts will be a drop in the bucket compared to the profits or even the cost of fixing the problem. How’s that for a lethal loophole?

Charlotte is distressed to learn how guilty her clients might be, and Ella makes it worse by scolding her for her treatment of Dan, saying she used see light in Charlotte, but now all she sees is darkness.

Lucifer is worried about Charlotte, but Chloe isn’t: “That woman’s like a rock. Like a very mean, scary, hot, well-dressed rock.” And she’s not wrong. For someone experiencing a deep existential crisis, Charlotte fakes arrogant confidence incredibly well.

At the last minute, another suspect emerges: The security guard who found Simon’s body stands to lose out on stock options if the merger fails. They went out drinking a few weeks ago, and Simon told the guard he was sick and that Adrian wouldn’t listen to him, but the guard says he didn’t think Simon was serious when he discussed killing himself. “It’s not like he jumped into that vat. I mean, boiling pudding. Easier ways to go,” the guard shudders.

In fact, the day before his death, Simon changed his will, gave away his possessions, and rehomed his pet turtle, indicating he staged a murder to draw police attention to the poisoned pudding.  When Lucifer calls Charlotte to tell her that her clients aren’t killers, her office says she’s out.

She’s actually way out, holding Grace, Adrian, and the fixer at gunpoint until the murderer confesses. She gives a hysteria-tinged laugh as she says she might have gone to Hell and may be having a nervous breakdown, but she doesn’t want other people’s bad blood on her hands anymore.

A bullet into a pudding vat has the trio confessing that they knew about the safety issue, but not confessing to the murder. At this point, Lucifer joins the party, and Charlotte says she’s done finding ways for her clients — and herself — to wiggle out of trouble. “It turns out, there are no loopholes. If you’re guilty, you’re guilty,” she says.

Lucifer relieves her of the gun, and the waiting police take the pudding poisoners into custody. Dan heard Charlotte’s meltdown and tells her he’s sorry that she’s struggling. She then apologizes for how she treated him and suggests they get coffee sometime.

After the case wraps, Chloe’s still thinking about loopholes, so she sits Trixie down and explains the reason for the swear jar: Bad words make people feel bad, and sure, Trixie can find non-swear swear words, but in the end, she has to do the right thing on her own, without the jar hanging over her head.

Finally, Lucifer takes Charlotte home, and she asks what she was like during those missing months. Intense, jealous, and emotional, Lucifer says, but all from a place of love, and he’ll miss that Charlotte. Then again, he’s also looking forward to getting to know the real Charlotte Richards.

Stray feathers

  • In the end, even though it killed people in multiple ways and Lucifer used it as slang for “semen,” I truly would kill for a big bowl of tapioca pudding right now.
  • Seriously, does Lucifer have no locks on his doors? No security? People walk in and out of his place like it’s a 7-Eleven!
  • Are you hoping as much as I am that these final scenes mean we’ll see more of Tricia Helfer this season?
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