If Kingdom had an alternate title, it’d have to be “F— ’em all.” And that’s only one reason why I love this show so much.
We start this week with a little glimpse into Alicia’s life, which as you can expect, isn’t perfect. It’s evident that she’s sleeping in her car, showing up at the gym every morning at 6 a.m. to work. But you have to give it to her: All her hard work is paying off. After all, it takes a lot to catch Alvey’s eye, and that’s exactly what she manages to do.
Finally taking notice of the gym’s newest fighter, Alvey gets in the cage and moves around with Alicia, who doesn’t do great under pressure. Sure, it’s mostly pressure that she’s putting on herself, but you can’t really blame a girl for being intimidated by Alvey. Although, it’s when Alvey asks Jay to move around with Alicia that we get my favorite line of the night. After Jay says something about Alicia having a nine iron with a baseball bat, or some very Jay thing, Alvey responds, “I don’t know what he says, but he’s right.” And that about sums Jay up.
Speaking of Jay, he’s mid-starvation as he begins his journey to lose 30 pounds, which leaves him a little more emotional than usual…and considering that usually Jay’s very emotional, this only makes things worse. Feeling very insecure about his relationship with Laura, Jay discovers that Laura is still living in her ex’s house. His name is Paul. They’ve lived together for five years. The house is his. And no, they’re not sleeping together.
But naturally, Jay doesn’t fully believe that. And after Jay gets a female’s perspective from Alicia, well, he’s pretty convinced that no man would allow a woman to live at his house without getting something in exchange. My favorite Jay line of the night? Him thanking Alicia for her candor by saying, “I’m both embarrassed and illuminated.” Seriously, find me a better character on TV right now.
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Laura’s Paul’s house, Jay continues his “sexual awakening” with Laura, but that comes to a quick end when he accuses her of texting Paul and asks to see her phone. In a truly magnificent scene from Jonathan Tucker, Laura confronts Jay about his abandonment issues and how he never got therapy. Naturally, that ends with Jay once again accusing Laura of sleeping with Paul, an accusation that leaves him a very emotional and jealous man when Laura asks him to leave.
So while Jay could be losing his lady love, Alvey’s doing alright with his. This episode begins with Lisa discovering Alvey’s response to blogger Mario Goldsmith, which contains this gem: “Jesus Christ himself wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire while holding the Virgin Mary.” No wonder Alvey, your king, Kulina went viral.
Okay, so maybe he and Lisa don’t start out on the very best of terms when she tells him that he’s a father, a business owner, and when he says, “I was drunk,” she responds, “Yeah, you’re one of those too.” It’s harsh. But she speaks the truth.
NEXT: Nate takes a fight