You could tell from the slithering soundtrack that started this episode, when Boyd went to negotiate with Cassie at the Last Chance Holiness Church, that snakes would play a pivotal role this hour. Then again, the rattler that killed Billy wasn’t the only snake in this episode. Lindsey is just a lot prettier.
We opened with Boyd sitting in the church tent waiting to talk to Cassie and politely accuse her of sleeping with her brother (she merely sings him to sleep). She was open to a bribe, but only if Boyd built them a permanent home for Billy’s ministry. No deal. Cassie said she knew why Boyd keeps misjudging them — they’re not afraid of him. Boyd leaned in and whispered, “Well in that case, ma’am, I think we misjudged each other.” Game on.
We cut to Raylan, who was sleeping in his clothes because he had no place to holster his gun in his undershorts. Lindsey came clean about Randall: She used to get close to men and find out what they had worth stealing, and then Randall would take it. Only he got jealous and beat a guy half to death. Randall went to prison, and Lindsey divorced him. Perhaps people can change, but not in the world of Elmore Leonard. We knew Lindsey would end up stealing Raylan’s money with Randall. But Raylan has a weakness for pretty women, especially when they strip down to their bras and put their hands down his pants.
Back to Boyd: He gave Colton and Jimmy — I learned his name this week, since he lived — orders to beat on Billy. Only Cassie and Billy had expected someone to come, so the snakes were out and waiting for them, ready to bite. Jimmy shot the one that struck his cheek, but when Colton carried him into Boyd’s bar, its head was still attached to his face. Awesome. “What the hell happened?” Ava asked. “I think a snake bit him,” Colton quipped. Boyd had leapt over the bar to get to Jimmy. It’s how much he cares for his crew — when he knows they’re loyal — that allows us to like him, no matter how bad he gets. Colt had tried to reach Johnny, so he could call his doctor, but Johnny couldn’t be reached. (Does Wynn’s Winnebago not get good reception?)
Raylan went and found Randall at a gym and interrupted him using what showrunner Graham Yost referred to as “crotch spray” in our weekly postmortem. The boys had a civil enough conversation about Randall’s background; about Lindsey telling Raylan that Randall wanted to pull their old scam on Hoppus, the backyard fight promoter we met last week; and about Randall violating his parole by leaving the state of Florida. It was classic Raylan, giving Randall a deadline to head back to Florida — 6 p.m. that night — or he would send him back in cuffs or a box. But Randall said he wanted to do to Raylan what he’d done to the last guy who put his hands on Lindsey, and he threatened to put a limp in Raylan’s “Gary Cooper walk” and write his name all over his face. NOT THE FACE! It was a date.
Raylan went back to the office and interrupted Art reprimanding Rachel for not calling for backup when she apprehended a violent fugitive and getting herself trapped with said bad guy in a ladies room with one door and no windows. The idea that Rachel would let her divorce distract her or turn her into a Raylan-esque Wyatt Earp would be a copout — the lady Marshal is too emotional! — if Raylan’s stereotypical male weakness wasn’t so telegraphed. And also, Rachel looks badass and like she’s got her s— together in the promo for next week’s ep.
Art gave Raylan the Drew Thompson update: They’d located his “widow,” and Art wanted Raylan and Tim to pay her a visit and see how she reacted to the news that Drew was still alive. Art also found out that at the time of his death, Drew was wanted in a sealed federal witness warrant. Marshal stiffies all around! Art was hoping to get the warrant unsealed by the end of the day. “If my stiffy lasts much longer, I’m going to have to consult my physician,” he told Raylan. Oh, how I wish EW would print “Stiffy” on the Sound Bites page. But at least Justified made the mag’s Must List this week.
NEXT: Johnny be bad