We gave it a B+
As with any telenovela, we’ve learned to expect huge twists, turns, and big reveals from Jane the Virgin. This episode is no different. Luisa has conjured up an imaginary friend named Carl. Jane is navigating her new relationship with Adam. And Rafael lies on the asphalt with blood dripping from his head, thanks to Katherine barreling into him with her fancy sedan. Here’s hoping his abs were unharmed and that the gash in his forehead produces a manly scar.
Sadly, it’s too soon to tell about the scar with Rafael’s head bandaged up. Petra paces the hospital room while she berates him. Instead of closing the deal with Katherine, he chooses to break up with their one lead to get the Marbella back. When Rafael snaps that he just couldn’t go through with it, Petra rolls her eyes, convinced that the father of her children had been “Villanuevaed.”
Villanuevaed: Suddenly hit by a morality crisis
It looks like Jane got through to Rafael. Great! Now she can move on to bigger and better things, like planning her best friend Lina’s bachelorette party. But instead of phallic decorations and a stripper, Jane is hosting the best 1930s murder mystery combined bachelor/bachelorette party in the history of all parties. This one is totally better than any other murder mystery bachelor/bachelorette parties you may have attended, because Rogelio has come through with costumes, props, and a set. The Marbella never looked so mysterious.
Jane and Adam haul boxes full of props to Lina’s place. She immediately sizes Adam up and down and dares him to mess things up again. When Lina’s fiancé greets Adam, they both feel they have met each other before. A quick social media check confirms that they have several people in common, including Alex, whom Adam used to date. Jane and Lina scrutinize the photo of a hot girl hugging a good-looking guy. They both agree that she is super pretty and are surprised when Adam points out that Alex is the guy.
The fact that Adam is bisexual doesn’t rattle Jane as much as the fact that he never brought it up. Adam casually informs Jane that he never thought it was relevant information, but he also confesses that this revelation has been an issue before with others. Jane laughs. She’s completely fine with his past liaisons. Everyone has exes.
Which leads us to Rafael. Katherine of course tells Luisa that Rafael was using her to get to the Marbella, and Luisa is not happy. Tensions rise when she finds her brother in Petra’s hotel suite. Petra pleads with Luisa to let Rafael stay until he gets better, but Luisa isn’t having it. She claims Rafael deserves what he got since he’s a nasty, horrible person who is obsessed with money and power. Just like their dad.
That last bit stings Rafael, especially when the twins walk in and see him literally broken. Petra ushers them out the door with the nanny to buy something in the gift shop. Another rhinestone turtle, coming up! Alba hears the news from the girls and immediately invites Rafael back to the Villanueva house to recover from his wounds. As Alba sends Mateo to sleep in his mom’s room, Rafael bristles at the sight of Jane. He swallows his pride, tells her she was right, and tags the sentiment with, “I really don’t want to hear ‘I told you so’ right now.” Jane imagines herself Villanuevaing him with love and affection. Instead, she just stands there as he hobbles off to Mateo’s room.
The doorbell jerks Jane into the present, and she’s delighted to find her BFF on the other side of the door. Lina babbles on about Jane spending quality time with Danny so Jane can tell her if he is the one she should marry.
Jane asks Lina if they fought or if something bigger happened, but Lina insists that Danny is great. In fact, he’s so perfect that he’s borderline vanilla. They never fight, he’s not spontaneous, and the idea that he even thinks Lina would like a combined murder mystery bachelor/bachelorette party is very concerning. And don’t get her started on the intervention she had with her sisters. They claim she will be divorced by Christmas. Lina is phoning a friend on this one — Jane must tell her what to do.
When Jane calls Xo for advice, her mother is quick to tell Jane what she tells her every time her daughter considers meddling: WALK AWAY FROM THE CONTROVERSY. Xo thinks this is a lose/lose situation. She warns Jane to keep her mouth shut. Then she hangs up the phone, turns to Rogelio, and asks him if he will get a vasectomy. #snip #nevergonnahappen
Back at the Marbella, Jane notices the waiter openly flirting with Adam. She also notices Adam leaning into the compliments. When Adam calls her out on why she’s being weird, she once again claims that all is well. Of course, she confides in her mom that all is most certainly not well. When Xo chimes in with her own relationship problems — it’s not fair, she says, that Rogelio won’t get a vasectomy for her — Alba jumps in with advice. Whens she wanted something from her husband, she simply didn’t wear a bra. Problem solved. (Ivonne Coll’s ever-so-subtle shoulder shimmy after delivering that line was PERFECT!)
Later that day, Lina tricks Jane into spending an afternoon with Danny, and it is torturous. He’s the definition of boring. Jane tries to bond with him, but all roads lead to Dullsville.
Speaking of bonding, Rogelio works hard not to care that Esteban is cardio-bonding with his daughter. Both Ro and Xo are surprised to hear that Darci is already considering baby No. 2. Xo beams, exclaiming that it’s nice Esteban would do anything for Darci. When Esteban leaves, Rogelio turns to Xo and asks her if “snipping” would make her happy. She leans in and whispers sweet nothings in his ear, and that’s when he notices that his wife isn’t wearing a bra. Xo suggests that if she didn’t have to worry about birth control, she could be a lot more free in the bedroom, and Rogelio melts and demands she make an appointment for him as soon as possible. (Recap continues on page 2).