So, How I Met Your Mother, we meet again. You left us three weeks ago with a cliffhanger saying that Robin and Ted will not speak for a long time, and when you finally return you give us…nothing. Still no more information. Well, okay, you did tell us that in in three years Ted will be married with a baby. But you made us trek through the muddy slew of flashbacks and flash forwards before we got to that. Got your boots on? Let’s go.
8 p.m. Every night. A man emerges from a building, walks seven paces to edge of the sidewalk. He pauses, places his hands on his hips. And smiles. Like clockwork. Rain or shine. Who is this mysterious man? Why does he wear a Cheshire Cat grin? And why does it baffle a spying couple across the street?
The man in question is one Barney Stinson. And the secret behind his routine? He’s passing that good ol’ gas. Lest we forget that he’s living with Quinn now, and EVERYONE knows the cardinal rule between newly minted couples is to keep farting to a minimum. Or at least find me the couple who follows a different set of rules.
But I digress. Barney heads to MacLaren’s to hang with Lily and Robin and gives them the lowdown on living with Quinn. Basically, he ain’t lovin’ it. He has decided that, (I’m rolling my eyes as I write this) despite the fact that Quinn has given up all of her prized possessions because she knows how Barney likes his stuff, she still can’t keep one thing in his apartment — her coffee mugs. Come on, man! A girl likes her coffee!
Good thing he’s got the sage advice of Lily the Wise, who instinctively knows that Barney is poo-pooing the mugs because he doesn’t want to have to buy new ones when the relationship purportedly ends. Barney’s response to Lily’s astuteness was the very obvious, “Here’s the thing, it’s my apartment and I need to assert my dominance as a man.” And Robin took the words right out of my mouth when she forcefully looks Barney in the eye and tells him to never repeat that statement to any girl. But it’s too late. He already said those words to Quinn (who shrieked at him), and when he tells Robin and Lily that he said that, well, they yell at him, too. It’s all too much girl power for Barney so he storms off to go talk to the guys (Ted and Marshall), yet, they also yell at him. Get the point already, Barnabus.
Barney looks to split from the guys (he’s going to the Y for a schvitz), but before he can make his departure, Ted makes an announcement that apparently holds some major weight within the group: It’s Trilogy Time, which consequently sets off a string of mostly pointless flashbacks, flash forwards, and just too many flashes altogether.
NEXT: What exactly is Trilogy Time?