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''The Hills'': Whitney the falling star

On ”The Hills,” Whitney gets a chance at a real job and an appearance on TV, but she stumbles in her big moment; plus, that annoying couple keeps popping up

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The Hills, Whitney Port
The Hills: Sheryl Nields

The Hills

TV Show
Current Status:
In Season
225 minutes
Lauren Conrad
Paramount Home Video
Reality TV

”The Hills”: Whitney the falling star

I was so psyched to see this was a Whitney-centric episode! Enough with the Heidi-Spencer-Jen-Brody crap already — and who could be more deserving? She’s toiled for so long in the background, reduced to nothing more than asking how other people’s dates, parties, and national-holiday celebrations went. Finally, her chance to prove she’s so much more than pretty pretty blond hair and reaction shots.

She seized her opportunity. She went right in and asked Lisa Love to help her basically plan her entire career path, and damn if Lisa Love didn’t just happen to have the perfect job available for her to nab after her impending graduation. She could be a fashion contributor! Just one catch: She had to actually interview for it (how annoying), and other people might actually want it, too. ”Other people” being understood to mean, mainly, Emily the evilly perfect intern from New York.

I found myself really annoyed at being ripped away from this critical juncture in Whitney’s future to be subjected to more of Spencer’s incessant pestering of Heidi about moving in together, as well as more of his Lauren bashing. Blah blah, something about it being ironic that he ended up making Lauren’s birthday toast when he hates her so much, blah blah…good time for me to go reheat my tea in the microwave.

Then we were back where I wanted to be, at the Good Morning America shoot that Lauren, Heidi, and ”super Emily” were helping organize for André Leon Talley. Any chance we can get André to hire Lauren and Whitney, then move next season to New York? ”Oooh, look at this little intern, she’s asserting herself,” he cooed at Lauren. Then he told Whitney, ”You’re beautiful. You should be a model.” Her response was yet another reason to love Whitney: ”People have said that because of my height.” Sweetie, people have said that because you’re gorgeous, but way to be modest. Meanwhile, Emily looked glum at all the talk about Whitney’s ”television face.” Or maybe that’s just the magic of editing, but I like to think of Emily as a villain, so we’ll go with it.

And just when we were eating up the whole Devil Wears Prada/Ugly Betty moment (why do I never tire of this stuff?), we were cruelly plucked out of it once again and plopped back with the killjoy couple. ”I’m ready to get serious,” Spencer droned. ”I’ve been doing this whole single Hollywood thing.” Heidi continued to be reasonable, for what that’s worth, and told him not yet, it’s a big step, etc. And Spencer actually issued an ultimatum, though I’m guessing that was just for pure drama’s sake. I don’t buy a thing this guy does, so whatever.

Back to the fashion show. A little disappointed to see Emily flouncing out in an Oscar dress along with Whitney and the models — really wanted this to be Whitney’s big moment — but…holy crap, Whitney tripped on national television. As in, dropped right down out of the camera frame. But she pulled it together and shrugged it off smoothly on screen. Afterward, Emily tried to contain her glee and be supportive: ”At least you didn’t really fall. You could’ve actually fallen.” (Translation: Why, oh, why didn’t you really fall? That would’ve been awesome.) Poor Whitney was actually crying backstage a little. But it all turned out okay in the end: Lisa Love called it an ”endearing moment,” Teen Vogue editor Amy Astley sent her a sweet note from New York, and Lisa claimed Vogue editor Anna Wintour even rang with some words of encouragement, but I’m a little dubious of that one. Still, I heart Lisa Love — and Whitney — more than ever now. I hope the Hills people pull some strings and get Whit that job. Consider this EW’s letter of recommendation.

PS: Then Heidi and Spencer broke up at the end. But seriously, who even wants to talk about them anymore?