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Emmys 2017
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Article

''The Hills'' recap: Lauren makes Brody jealous

Lauren gets her almost boyfriend Brody interested by dating a surfer dude; plus, Spencer resents all the time Heidi spends at work

Posted on

Jeff Lipsky

The Hills

type:
TV Show
Current Status:
In Season
runtime:
225 minutes
performer:
Lauren Conrad
distributor:
Paramount Home Video
genre:
Reality TV

”The Hills” recap: Lauren makes Brody jealous

I’m not sure how much attention you all pay to the music during The Hills, but the reason I’m mentioning it is that I must give a shout-out to one particular song in tonight’s episode, titled ”The Pressure.” (It played following the Teen Vogue casting.) The song is by Nick Howard, who’s an up-and-coming musician and a friend of mine. You should check out his music. Or don’t, but still relish with me for a few seconds here that Nick’s awesome song played on national TV. Pretty cool!

We started our evening with Lauren, who, while having drinks with Brody, decided to inquire about the type of guys he thinks she should be dating. (Um, isn’t that something you usually don’t discuss with people you’ve previously dated?) In response to Brody’s advice (”He’s gotta be a little bit of a bad boy….”), Lauren giggled, batted her eyelashes, and blushed. But later on, at a Teen Vogue model casting, she threw his words of wisdom right out the window and did exactly what he said not to: go for Mr. Perfect. Enter Gavin, the blond surfer guy, who’s also a model who looks good in pink. Lauren had apparently tried to set Gavin up with Heidi after she’d met him at some previous Teen Vogue shoot at a tennis court. Fortunately, that setup (as we all know) didn’t work out, and Gavin proceeded to get Lauren’s number despite Whitney’s hilarious and entirely premature exclamation while he was still in earshot: ”He was really funny.”

Of course, it wouldn’t be a date for Lauren if there weren’t some sort of drama surrounding it. This time the drama took the form of a tall, ‘fro-ed partier who was none too pleased to find out that his little lady was bringing a date to one of his infamous barbecues. Audrina predicted the conflict with their hosts: ”I wonder how Frankie and Brody are going to treat him,” she said to Lauren, ”because you’re like their girl, you know what I mean?” (Though did anyone else hear Lo then mutter, ”Frankie doesn’t care”? Am I sensing some possessiveness here? Maybe some residual feelings left over from their steamy make-out session in Vegas?) At the cookout, Brody grilled — no pun intended — Gavin on just about everything under the sun. (Seriously, he even asked Gavin how his last relationship ended, which I think was a tad inappropriate.) Being the Mr. Perfect that he is, Gavin of course passed Brody’s test with flying colors, which only added fuel to Brody’s anti-Gavin campaign.

Luckily Lauren’s overprotective friends didn’t scare Gavin off, and the two still went on their already planned Friday-night date to a sushi restaurant where the ”Crazy Danny Roll” is a must-have. By the way, are the servers there on speed or something? I don’t think Lauren and Gavin had even closed their menus before their order was placed on the table. From what we saw of their date, I don’t think it went that badly. (After all, this is the guy who can go camping without running water, a trait that would suggest he’s more interesting than a pair of chopsticks. Right?) Lauren, however, thought it was ”a great date with no sparks.” So she naturally called up good ol’ Brody to console her and ”watch a movie.” I used quotes around that phrase only because when Brody asked her what movie she was planning to watch, Lauren replied, ”Does it really matter?” Bow chica bow wow! (Er, or not. We never actually got the shots that MTV would typically tease us with: Brody walking ominously into the apartment and shutting the door. This time all we got were measly pans of the L.A. skyline while a folk version of the song ”I Melt With You” played in the background).

NEXT: Spencer resents Heidi for working

Back in Speidi land, things weren’t nearly as hunky-dory. Abominable Snowman (which is how I plan to refer to scruffy-bearded Spencer from here on out; without the beard, he’s back to being Beavis) got riled up over Heidi ”choosing” to do work instead of going out for their belated anniversary dinner. Although we’d already seen a million times in the previews the moment when Heidi said to Spencer, ”Oh, I’ll be at work. Why don’t you try it?” I still got a kick out of hearing her talk back (no matter how contrived it was). Now, after seeing the situation unfold in its entirety, it all just feels so overly dramatic and scripted (as most Speidi situations do) — especially the moment when Beavis rolled up to the Bolthouse offices and asked for Heidi, and the front-desk assistant asked him, ”And you are?” As if that entire office doesn’t watch the show every week and/or read about it in the tabloids. And as if the camera guys behind Beavis didn’t give her any kind of clue.

At least we finally got to see Heidi show off her well-honed PR skills in this episode. She pretended to make sure new Bolthouse employee Kimberly (”the new Elodie,” as she doesn’t like to be referred to) was doing her job correctly at a NASCAR event by looking over a list. Congrats, Heidi, you know how to use a clipboard; you’re well on your way up the corporate ladder. (On an unrelated note: Would any of you agree that Kimberly looks exactly like Jacinda Barrett from The Real World: London?)

So, TV Watchers, what do you think? Why is it that Brody’s cast and Spencer’s horrific facial hair keep popping in and out of episodes like some sort of Where’s Waldo game? Do you believe that Lauren and Brody have true affection for each other, or do you think MTV just does a stellar job of editing? Finally, were you as irked as I was that Speidi used the California brush fires — a very serious emergency — to get press?