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''The Hills'': The Lauren sex-tape rumor returns

On ”The Hills,” the tired story line about the alleged Lauren-Jason sex tape returns, with Jen Bunney blaming Brody, who then rats out Spencer

Posted on

The Hills

type:
TV Show
Current Status:
In Season
runtime:
225 minutes
performer:
Lauren Conrad
distributor:
Paramount Home Video
genre:
Reality TV

”The Hills”: The Lauren sex-tape rumor returns

Welcome back to The Hills, party people. Can you believe the season is only halfway through? I certainly can’t. Makes me wonder what else is in store for Speidi and the rest of the crew — you know, unless we read it on TMZ or Perez Hilton first.

Speaking of which, the Lauren-Jason sex-tape rumor, which was first mentioned on the gossip blogs, resurfaced again tonight. Little Bunney Jen Jen — with her little Bunney nose nose — sucked up her pride and made lunch plans with Lauren to inform her of the latest suspect in the case, Brody. I was a little surprised at how mature and calm Lauren was being about meeting up with her old pal. ”I think I’m just kind of over fighting with people right now,” Lauren told Lo before dropping the bomb that she was having lunch with ”Buns.” Lo (with new brown hair, or is it just a little darker?) warned Lauren to proceed with caution. ”I know that you’ve had a really bad year, and in my eyes, it’s not totally worth it to you to throw yourself back into what made you so upset in the first place.” Oh, Lo, what would we do without you and your words of wisdom?

At the big lunch, lots of drink sipping and hair flipping took place while the two girls uncomfortably caught up with each other. When Bunney complimented Lauren’s diamond bracelet, Lauren replied, ”Oh, it’s a friendship bracelet. [Awkward pause.] A friend gave it to me.” Emphasis on the word friend. (Did anyone else have a flashback at this point to last season when Heidi and Lauren surprised Bunney on her birthday with a diamond bracelet, or am I just hallucinating? Weird, right?) Bunney eventually spilled the beans to Lauren that Heidi thinks Brody is the one responsible for the rumors about the sex tape. Lauren immediately snapped back, ”Why would Brody start rumors about me? I’ve been friends with him all along.” Except all Bunney could do was try to remain neutral by repeating the words ”I don’t know” over and over again, and adding, ”I don’t want to get involved.”

Lauren confronted Brody at some sake restaurant later on, and I don’t know about you guys, but I was sure glad he finally — finally — admitted to her that the sex-tape rumor was ”100 percent” Speidi’s doing. (Hallelujah, can we end the witch hunt now?) I was proud of Lauren for standing by her beliefs, though, and calling Brody out for not looking her in the eyes at first. ‘I just need you to be honest with me,” she told him, ”and if I knew something like that about you, I would tell you.” On an unrelated note, did Brody look like he was wearing under-eye concealer?

For the first time in, well, basically Hills history, I actually found myself sympathetic to Jen. (See, I even called her Jen!) I thought it was nice of her to seek Lauren out to inform her of Brody’s possible betrayal. But later on, when Buns (yup, back to the nickname) dined with Heidi, it seemed she was playing to both sides equally. The second Heidi got defensive about being called out on the sex tape (”You think I did? You think I did? Okay, I would think you would know better”), Bunney went all butt-kissing again (”I meant Spencer. Are you sure Spencer?I didn’t say you?.That’s all I was asking…because I was told that”). For once, I wish Bunney would put Heidi in her place for being so self-righteous. Even the way Heidi said, ”Should we get the check?” was condescending. Then again, the Bunneys of the world are there for the Speidis to walk all over, right?

NEXT: Heidi gets busted at work

Mr. Brent Bolthouse, on the other hand, certainly didn’t let Heidi walk all over him. So Heidi didn’t have an event covered because she had put Elodie (gosh, I miss her) in charge, but Elodie had, unbeknownst to Heidi, quit her job. So what does Brent do to reprimand his employee for the terrible (and, as we’ve discussed, unrealistic) miscommunication? Pretty much nothing but give her some measly shouldn’t he have mentioned this before? speech. ”If you’re going to have somebody cover for you,” he said, ”what I need you to do is, you to have to communicate with me, or Jenna, or somebody on the team, so we know. You have responsibility, you fought for this position, you have to live up to everything you promised me, and everything you said you would do for this job.” Everything she promised, huh? By that does he mean more screen time? Heidi, of course, went running home to complain to Spencer once again about Elodie. His brilliant advice: ”You can’t depend on anybody.” Seriously, these two need to create some new story lines for themselves if they’re going to keep my interest any longer.

Over in the Hillside Villas, Audrina (whose white teeth had an extra sparkle this week) and Lauren finally talked about their fight in Vegas over Justin Bobby. I’m happy to see this situation get resolved, but I never expected Lauren to completely admit she was in the wrong about J. Bob. (Let’s be honest: I’m not really a fan of anyone who says, ”I think things should be happy and blissful, and just mellow,” while wearing a big beanie.) ”I just feel like I’ve kind of been overstepping and being too judgmental, like the way I’ve been treating you with Justin,” she said to Audrina. ”I’m still really broken from last year….I think that I’m so scared for anyone to go through the same thing. Look what I did last year, where’s it’s like I’m trying to think that I’m being a good friend, but like, I made my roommate move out. Like, she couldn’t even live with me?.I don’t want it to happen again?.I need to just basically shut up and be happy for you.” Thank you, MTV gods, for giving us a real moment like this one. Hope there’s more where that came from.

It’s your turn, TV Watchers. Tell me: Do you believe that Brody had nothing to do with the sex-tape rumors? Do you think Jen Bunney was being sincere when she said to Lauren, ”I don’t want to get involved”? Does Whitney do anything other than fold clothes at work? Finally, were you at all surprised by the New York Post article that claimed the show is staged?