Like last week, Meredith kicks off the episode feeling on top of the world. She’s having lots of sex with her husband! He’s moving back to Seattle! Things are great! And just like last week’s episode, it doesn’t last.
But let’s savor that opening for a moment. Meredith recites her monologue over a montage of Mer-Der hook-ups past. They get it on in the shower, in the bed, in the hospital—basically, everywhere. This dreamy, dreamy montage reminds us of their chemistry, which has been missing from the show for too long. And the following clip, featuring Meredith saying, “I have work to do at work, I can’t do you too” when Derek suggests they have sex at the hospital, proves they’re still going strong. But no matter how aww-worthy this scene is, it’s also too good to be true.
There were points in the beginning when I thought this was all a dream sequence, but then Amelia pops in and (kind of) kills the magical mood. She was expecting to have the house to herself, so is surprised to see Mer and Derek in the kitchen—and they’re surprised when Owen walks in behind her. Busted.
They have an awkward interaction—Derek asks if anyone wants breakfast—before Amelia and Owen head out, leaving Meredith and Derek a few minutes to say goodbye. He’s going to the White House to resign, and he leaves on a weirdly sentimental, dramatic note: “Wait for me,” he smiles. “I’ll be back before you know it.” In Grey’s-speak: Something bad is about to happen. Probably very bad.
But hopefully not as bad as what happened to the chef who comes into the hospital without a penis because his wife cut it off. His sous chef/mistress brings him (and the penis, of course) in, and April decides to call in Catherine Avery to help put him back together. Webber’s not happy at first—if you’ll remember, their relationship ended on bad terms—and they exchange some banter about manhood before Webber tells her how he really feels.
Webber yells twice in this episode, once at April for calling Catherine in, and once at Catherine. Both times come off as more cartoonish than anything, which is partly because we haven’t seen Webber do anything remotely serious in quite some time. Sure, he’s been doling out advice as the hospital’s resident dad, but beyond that, he hasn’t really had an opportunity lately to show any range of emotions. No matter how funny he might look when he’s trying to be forceful though, Webber gets his point across to Catherine: He loves her, and he’s not going anywhere. They kiss, it’s cute, and hopefully this will be the end of the dramatic part of the Catherine and Webber saga.
Before they get their happily ever after though, Catherine and Edwards reattach the penis with success. Catherine even compliments Edwards during the surgery, causing her to briefly consider urology. Everything’s going well and it looks like his penis will regain most of its previous function—but then the sous chef sneaks into his room while no one’s looking… and cuts off his penis. Again.
Edwards runs after the sous chef and eventually corners her in the bathroom. For a moment, it seems like the sous chef is going to flush the penis—she’s angry, she’s upset, she’s got a lot of emotions going on. But Edwards somehow manages to empathize with her and eventually secures it. This poor penis (also: flashback to season 1, episode 2’s penis in a box).
NEXT: Amelia’s having a rough time.
In less disgusting news, Meredith now knows something’s going on between Amelia and Owen, so she confronts her about it. She’s watching out for her sister-and-law and for Owen, but Amelia suddenly gets defensive. Later on, she blows up at Owen after a surgery goes wrong, and even later on, she blows up at Meredith.
She starts by telling Meredith to mind her own business, and Meredith responds with a bright “okay.” But then Amelia delivers a speech about how Meredith doesn’t know where she’s been and doesn’t know what it’s like to lose the love of your life, and that she needs to back off while Amelia tries to get her s— together. It’s a powerful speech… but also seems largely unwarranted.
First of all, comparing traumas is never a good or rational idea (that didn’t stop us from doing it though—but we did find that Meredith has had the worst go of it). Second of all, Meredith wasn’t even that nosy. She just asked what was going on with Owen and told Amelia because she wants to make sure neither of them get hurt. That sounds more caring than anything.
But Amelia’s right: She has been through trauma, and she’s recovering in more ways than one. It’s starting to seem more and more that she needs to get the hell out of Seattle—or maybe just that she needs to start going to therapy and pick up a hobby or two. Amelia, happiness is possible!
That happens, and the next day, someone from the White House calls the hospital looking for Derek. Apparently he never showed up for the meeting he was supposed to attend. Derek is missing. Of course.
We can rule out plane crash since that’s already happened. Could he have lied about the whole kissing-the-other-woman thing? Could it have been more than one unwanted kiss? Or is he somewhere completely unrelated to another woman? Whatever it is, Meredith’s probably done feeling blessed right about now. Let’s just hope he makes it home safe (and with all his appendages).
- Edwards asks Webber how he knew he wanted to do general surgery, and he launches into a story about holding intestines. It’s gross and maybe a little beautiful if you’re someone who’s not freaked out by intestines… but mostly gross.
- Maggie went on a date with Ethan, but he never followed up. This leads Maggie to go a little crazy, but Karev eventually makes her feel better by telling her how great she is. The highlight is when he points out her lisp and how “cute and sexy” it is—Aleeeex. I know he’s with Jo and he’s just helping his friend feel better, but still: I wouldn’t be mad if Maggie and Karev were soulmates.
- Turns out Ethan didn’t follow up because Maggie spent the entire date talking his ear off. Once she finds this out, she apologizes and reveals she was nervous so she “brought the thunder.” At first, it’s unclear if Ethan is still into her—but then he calls her right as she’s walking away: “Next time I’ll bring the thunder.” It’s about to get stormy in the Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital.