”Grey’s Anatomy” season finale: Big kisses
Conclusion: I need more surgery in my life. As far as aphrodisiacs go, the stuff is clearly more potent than tequila, wine, bubble baths, candles, snowstorms, down comforters, Before Sunset, and the Juno soundtrack. Combined. I know a lot of people make out on this show, but the ending of tonight’s two episodes of Grey’s Anatomy may have set some kind of record. The kind where everyone but Yang and Sloan (and Bailey, natch) is sucking face with someone. And I wouldn’t be surprised if those two found each other later in the night for a quickie. I mean, why not?
But first, apparently, we had to get through some crazy high-stakes surgeries and a lot of talking. Talking was important tonight: ”It’s okay to talk about it,” Meredith’s shrink told her at the top of the first hour. Meredith had just revealed that her mom had taken a scalpel to her own wrists, right in front of young Meredith, back in the day. Meredith, incidentally, has returned to the form in which I like her best: delicately balanced among nutty, driven, sweet, and funny. ”Do you wanna dance it out?” she asked still-dark-and-twisty Cristina later that night. ”Do you wanna drink tequila?” Cristina wanted none of the above; she did, however, accept Meredith’s cheer-up gift of the sparkle pager, the magical device that gives its owner dibs on all the good surgeries. Or, as Meredith said, ”shiny, shiny pager, with lots of shiny surgeries.” See? Fun Meredith. Yay.
Speaking of, ahem, fun, the only people getting it on at the beginning of this episode were Sloan and Callie, with Sloan indulging in too much dirty talk about Callie and Hahn getting it on. Lesson to the six men being forced to watch this show with their significant others: Do this and you too could end up losing your girl to another girl. Well, that probably won’t happen. But you’re not getting a threesome, either, so enough already.
But all the fun and games came to a halt when the ”big trauma” arrived: a 19-year-old encased in cement because of a stunt he pulled to impress a girl. ”I’m not normally this dumb,” he said. The gang was informed that everyone would have to ”work as a team or that man dies” — and that would happen in four to six hours. That is, everyone except Meredith and Derek, who were still on brain-tumor clinical-trial duty, much to Nurse Rose’s chagrin. ”The legend of Meredith and Derek,” she told Mer. ”It’s intimidating.” More intimidating was the status of their study: They’d killed 11 people and would get one last patient, before midnight, to make it work. Naturally, two were on deck: a guy and a girl who were — only on Grey’s Anatomy, folks — dating. And once Meredith kinda bent the rules and said the Chief had signed off on both getting surgery, they (perhaps realizing exactly what hospital they were at) kindly inquired if they could go ahead and have sex for the first time before they got their heads busted open. ”What’s it like?” the girl sweetly asked the decidedly unvirginal docs. ”Is it magical?” The patients in this episode, incidentally, really killed it…er, were really good. And touching. And stuff. Point being, these two had my tear ducts flowing before the first hour was up, right around the time the boy, Jeremy, told his girlfriend, ”We’re not finished yet. I’m not finished loving you.” I mean, are you kidding me? Was Shonda Rhimes (who wrote this episode) trying to blatantly manipulate me? I’m guessing yes. And I’m okay with that.
NEXT: Things aren’t set in stone