So I could not be more exhausted from trying to figure out all the various complications from last night’s episode of Gossip Girl. Frankly, I’m worn out. Plus, my hair is all kinds of bad from the humidity in New York and I can only take so much. I look like a monchichi. This might have been a record for a Gossip Girl episode involving miscommunication. And for number of ladies in pink dresses (Serena’s was the best btw) and blatant product placement for Gilt Group. But I’ll get to that later.
So, Serena’s cousin Charlie seems to be acclimating well to the world of the Upper East Side. In fact, my favorite moments from the entire episode were Serena attempting to tutor her naïve relative on the ins and outs of spying. Like, for example, Serena couldn’t just flat out ask Dan and Blair if they were dating because that would mean she was trusting backstabber Vanessa. The look on Charlie’s face was genius. And then also Serena recapping the whole Juliet saga made it sound even wackier than when it played out on the show. Charlie also got a crash course in how to use the Gossip Girl map.
Meanwhile, Dan was doing his own little reconnaissance: he was hired by Paris Match (or so he thought) to follow Prince Louis around New York. Apparently, Dan’s blogging for W—which I assume included some kind of piece on visible chest hair and the resurgence of sideburns—was a hit with international readers. Little did Dan know that his sorta love Blair was also hanging with the prince. For some reason, Louis couldn’t just walk around New York and be normal; he had to be mysterious. Raise your hand if you can identify any member of French royalty. Anyone? Anyone? Yeah I didn’t think so. Who is ever going to recognize a French prince on the streets of America? Not believable.
Charlie was assigned by Serena to tail Dan and see if he was indeed seeing Blair. In the first of too many mistakes, Charlie thought Dan and Blair were meeting at Veselka but Dan was, in fact, just following the prince who was there to meet Ms. Waldorf. Still with me? It will get more complicated.
Louis told Blair that his family were actually checking up on him and they hired Dan to follow him. They don’t want the prince dating a “commoner” like Blair. Oh, the problems of the rich and royal. That brings us to Blair Waldorf Overly Complicated Plan #312: she will kiss Dan in front of this royal family official, forcing him to believe there is nothing romantic between her and Louis. Also, said kiss will occur at a breast cancer fund raiser called the Pink Party which, conveniently, allows everyone to get all dressed up.
NEXT: Serena finds out the truth about Dan and Blair