Nate Archibald is more than welcome to come live with me. I will share a bathroom with that man. What a wonderful way to begin an episode of Gossip Girl! The sight of a shirtless Nate almost distracted me from the sight of Jenny’s heinous new hairdo. Is her stylist Joan Jett circa 1985? Because that’s the only logical reason for her to end up with that cut. She looked like a middle-aged recovering meth addict. I do not approve. Also, if I were Rufus, I would most definitely not endorse that look. Jenny, you are like 15. The edgiest you are allowed to get is a Katie Holmes bob. If anything on this show scares parents off of home schooling, it will be that haircut.
Yay, the return of Willa Holland! One of the best parts of the final seasons of The OC was this actress’ portrayal of Kaitlin Cooper, Marisa’s wild little sis. So I’m more than a little excited that she’s back on television playing party-girl model Agnes. Did anyone else think that Willa could be Michelle Trachtenberg’s doppelgänger? Maybe it’s because their GG characters seem so similar? Agnes and Jenny bonded quite quickly, which led to a night out on the town during which they switched clothes and Jenny put on an unfortunate bowler hat. But I looooove that Agnes is bringing out Jenny’s inner hellcat. In fact, the next morning, when Jenny confronted Eleanor, it looked like the spirit of a dead Hell’s Angel possessed her. When did she develop such a love of heavy eye shadow and leather? Also, she thinks she’s starting her own clothing line? Oh, dear, little J. Clearly, she hasn’t gotten to the economics course in home schooling yet. But also, when did Nate get this big Jenny crush? He was just in love with Vanessa like an episode ago! And let’s not forget the Cougar! He felt so desperate at the art opening when he told Jenny he was “hoping we could hang” before she completely peaced out. Nate, you are like the Mayor of Sexytown — work the crowd. There’s no need to fawn over some girl who just discovered her love of a smoky eye and flannel.
The new, edgy Jenny found herself back at what I think was creepy photographer Max’s loft. She and Agnes began to dance and have fun and, of course, take off their clothes. I know all my girlfriends love to just dance in their bras. And then they have naked pillow fights and make out. Or not. Also, I was a little creeped out by seeing the actually teenage Taylor Momsen half-naked! I’m not even sure she can drive yet! Somehow this whole scene became a device to start the romance between Jenny and Nate, who then made out on the street outside the apartment. I guess this has been building since the first season, but for some reason I just don’t like the two of them together. I’m not sure what it is. But let’s blame it on Jenny’s hair — that’s the easiest target. I can’t see them together because Jenny has such bad hair. Nate deserves someone with good hair or at least hair as good as his own.
NEXT: Blair and Chuck go at it again