Well, the Hamptons were certainly fun while they lasted, Gossip Girl fans. We got one last small taste of the good life in this episode (not to mention an opening close-up of Penn Badgely’s nipple. Good morning!) But my biggest question is: Did Serena have sex with Dan while he wore her grandpa’s old suit? She totally wrapped Gramps’ old linen blazer around her very cute bra in the morning, so I think it’s a fair question. I don’t care how many times that thing was dry-cleaned, it’s still a little too close for comfort. And now she’s not sure if she and Dan should get back together? Um hello — didn’t you spend your entire summer boo-hooing about how much you missed him?
The duo did share a hilariously sexual trip on the Jitney back to the city, although I don’t really see Dan as a Nylon reader. But really? Sex in a Jitney bathroom? This after doing the deed on your grandpa’s clothes? It’s like they’re auditioning for a really kinky episode of Red Shoe Diaries. This back-and-forth, though, is already starting to get old. Thankfully (and I know this because I’ve seen next week’s episode) we will have an answer to the whole will-they-won’t-they question.
Nate headed back to the city, too, but not before chatting with Crazy-Eyed Mama Archibald. She always seems like she just accidentally pooped her pants, with her eyes bulging and tense vocal pattern; maybe her incontinence is why Nate’s father really left. And how about those giant hellhounds the Archibalds own? Good Lord. Mrs. Archibald should bust out those horses when the FBI come a-callin’. On the plus side, that lady has an amazing Hamptons home! Although who knows how much longer they’ll be able to keep the house since the FBI has frozen all of their assets.
Who knew Blair Waldorf was such an avid cyclist? She’s become so much more outdoorsy and athletic since she started seeing Lord Marcus (or as she calls him, M’Lord). She’s also insecure because it seems as though he doesn’t want to introduce her to his family (“It’s the season for flings — tennis pros and townies. I’m a secret summer shame!”) Her battle with Chuck has allowed her some very creative ways to turn his last name into profanity, with tonight’s use of “Basshole” quite humorous. I’m not really digging Chuck’s hair side part. It’s like he’s slicking all the hair back instead of getting a much-needed trim. I do, however, love that Blair’s answer to everything is a party, as evidenced by her last-minute soiree (with a help from Dorotta, who’s becoming one of my fave characters. Love her in uniform at the party but still rockin’ big M.K. Olsen-style sunglasses).
NEXT: Party time