”You can tell Jesus that the bitch is back.” Would it be wrong for me to have that tattooed on my body? That might be my favorite Gossip Girl quote ever. Ever! I may have to get a T-shirt made with that written on it. Or at least a nice bumper sticker. And it’s about time. We had to sit through almost two whole episodes with the goody, goody Georgina. And while the reformed G. was fun for a while, I much prefer my Georgina Sparks to be down and dirty. I cannot wait to see what evil Georgina has planned for Poppy.
But before all of this we had a pretty jam-packed episode that marked the return of Little Gay, a.k.a. Eric. I don’t know where he’s been all this time but it was clearly somewhere that had a kick-ass salon by the looks of his dashing new hairdo. Good work, Eric. Now stop dating people that I find unattractive and boring. It was really cute, though, that Rufus felt the need to ask Eric’s permission to propose to Lily since he was the man of the house.
So Gabriel finally came clean to Serena — after she faked a pregnancy scare. Classy S. Very classy. Is it just me or is Armie Hammer (who plays Gabriel) not a good actor? He’s awfully purdy but I’ve seen infomercial hosts selling spray-on hair be more convincing. Still, I have a feeling we haven’t seen the end of Gabriel. It also seems a little fishy that Chuck and Serena would just take Gabriel’s word that Poppy was the mastermind behind this whole thing. Also, this probably marks the first time someone named Poppy was called a ”mastermind.” (I was totally into the outfit Serena wore to meet Gabriel. Loved the jacket. Loved the shoes. Loved the blouse. And Serena’s bad hair phase seems to be over. Maybe she and Eric are now going to the same salon.)
The best episodes of Gossip Girl are when all of the cast comes together. I just love seeing them all act in scenes. It makes me happy, quite frankly. Like the scene when Georgina arrived at Serena’s apartment and scared the bejeesus out of everyone was classic. Dan: ”Uh, we have to get this crazy lady out of here!” I also adored the look that Blair gave Georgina outside of the Palace when Georgina tried to grab her purse. It was the definitive Blair stare of death.
Blair’s makeover of Georgina was pretty great, though. Loved the scene where she tried to woo Georgina back over to the dark side. ”If you cut ‘revenge’ out of the Bible, there’s not even enough pages to make a pamphlet.” Hilarious. And, of course, Blair styled Georgina with a headband. Of course! Chuck sniffing Georgina was fantastic; couldn’t tell if he was sizing up a potential prey or mate.
Dan became the most annoying tattletale in this episode. Is he like a 65-year-old man trapped in a teenager’s body? I kinda understand him telling Lily, since it is his college money but then calling her again and asking why his father is getting dividends? Dan, go find Vanessa and make some cappuccinos.
NEXT: Poppy gets away