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Gossip Girl recap: The Con Artists

Gabriel and Poppy play mind games on Serena and trick her clan, while things heat up in the Nate, Chuck, and Blair love triangle

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Giovanni Rufino/The CW

Gossip Girl

TV Show
run date:
Josh Schwartz
Blake Lively, Leighton Meester, Chace Crawford, Penn Badgley, Ed Westwick
Current Status:
Off Air

Last week, it was Cyrus’ ”Schmutz Happens…” This week, I’m obsessed with the ”OMJC” shirts worn by the campers at Georgina’s religious camp. Speaking of Ms. Sparks, I’m sooo happy for her return, even if she has, as she says in next week’s episode, ”let Jesus take the wheel.” (Somehow I knew that Gossip Girl would end up using that joke.) That camp reminded me of the one in Addams Family Values. Anyone else get flashbacks?

I’m also obsessed with Blair’s snobbery toward subways (”There’s no way I’m going down there. It’s full of mole men and middle-class professionals”), which she expounded on when Nate suggested it as their means of transportation getting between his uptown Columbia campus and her Village NYU campus. I have a similar feeling toward buses. Why take public transportation if you just have to sit in traffic?! Plus, I also ”loathe Murray Hill.” I knew there was a reason I always felt a kinship towards Blair. Her going to NYU is already starting to seem like a genius plan. Blair Waldorf interacting with hipsters and downtown folk is ripe for comedy. Can’t wait!

Speaking of which, I’m loving the Chuck/Nate/Blair triangle. Nate’s jealousy completely makes sense since Chuck’s bowtie has more personality than Nate. Seriously, though, Nate — Murray Hill? I feel like Blair would have rather set up shop in a shanty town underground with the mole men. It was sooo thrilling to see Blair and Chuck working together again as they set out to expose Gabriel for the liar that he was. The show fires on all cylinders when these two are plotting and manipulating.

Gabriel is the worst spy ever. First of all, meeting Poppy IN FRONT of Serena’s building? Helloooo, Agent Obvious. Also, is it me or is the man wearing like a pound of bronzer. Never trust a man wearing that much faux tanner! I can’t believe Serena would let him continue to date Poppy for a week while simultaneously dating her. Helloooo,CrazyPants. One of the best scenes of the evening had to have been when Serena and Blair were trying on dresses. The dialogue was so smart and funny, and it felt like old times with those frenemies back together again. Blair, in particular, had some delicious one-liners, such as: ”He’s having her cake and eating yours too.” Earmuffs, FCC!

Still, Gabriel’s plan became obvious in this episode: he’s basically bilking all of Serena’s family and friends out of hundreds of thousands of dollars. And the pixie-haired Poppy is helping him. This is what I was hinting at last week, TV Watchers: This story line is loosely based on Anne Hathaway’s whole boyfriend drama, as first reported by Michael Ausiello. My big question is why would Poppy now say that he also stole money from her? Is she just trying to look innocent? Also, I’m not sure that high schoolers attend coop board meetings. Aren’t they just about things like cleaning out the gutters and making sure there’s space for people to store their bikes?

Also, it’s sort of hilarious that the episode’s intrigue’s revolved around a supposed trip to the restaurant Butter. My favorite moment was when Gabriel admitted that he had zero idea what Butter was. Hilarious.

NEXT: Rufus is trying to figure out his future