It’s been so long since Gossip Girl was last on I have completely forgotten what’s happened this season. For a hot second I thought it was still the year that Hilary Duff showed up and showed new levels of lameness. That was a loooong, tough season for GG fans. Now, I remember—Blair and Dan were about to get it on! Yay. Oh and Chuck and Nate were fighting over snoozypants Raina! Boo. But let’s get back to THE couple with actual heat: Dan and Blair a.k.a. “Dair.”
Sooooo….um….not a helluva lot has changed sadly. Last time we saw them, Dair had exchanged a pretty hot kiss. It’s now a week later in GG time and Dan has yet to hear back from Blair despite calling her the next day. Meanwhile, Ms. Waldorf has been in bed all week, in her mind suffering from “consumption” or “malaise.” I love that Blair basically exists in Jane Austen novels. I’m surprised she hasn’t rediscovered petticoats yet. Depressed/confused Blair is brought out of her funk by a call from Epperly—remember the bitchy assistant from W?—who is now working for book publisher Taschen on a photo collection of “modern royalty.” For those of you that haven’t watched this episode yet, a perfect drinking game would be to take a sip every time the word “Taschen” is mentioned; I think it almost approaches double digits so be cautious with your imbibing. But seriously the episode should have been co-sponsored by Taschen…and Intermix.
Coincidentally, Lily and her brood were also picked to be part of the “modern royalty” pictorial although old Lil’s is now facing up to 10 years in prison due that whole faked affidavit fandango. But the book (and maybe the legal snafu) has brought back William Van Der Woodsen (William Baldwin) as well as mama Rhodes, CeCe! Love that old broad. Also love that her first appearance was like a Chanel dream (at least it looked like the classic label). I feel like CeCe would even have a Chanel nightgown with matching slippers. Let’s work on that, Eric Damen. Complicating matters (and royally pissing off Lily), CeCe invited her other daughter, Carol (Sheila Kelley), to participate in the shoot. Carol’s been off living a “bohemian” lifestyle in Florida, which I’m assuming means she’s never been to Sephora and has hairy pits. But frankly she looked pretty well scrubbed on her first entrance. Some of you may remember Aunt Carol from the GG flashback episode starring Brittany Snow as Lily and Krysten Ritter as Carol. Sadly, Carol’s body odor was not the major issue: Taschen cancelled the shoot due to Lily’s potential jail time.
But Carol wasn’t the only Floridian traveling up North: her daughter Charlie, played by newbie Kaylee DeFer, also snuck up to Manhattan. She wanted to check out these relatives that her mother has always told her were soooo awful. I mean naturally. Wouldn’t it have been funnier if she showed up and they were actually horrendous people and not the number one customers at Bergdorf’s? So Charlie bonded with her gorgeous, lion-mane cousin Serena…through shopping. Serena chose to show Charlie that the Upper East Side wasn’t so bad by taking her through the retail gauntlet starting with Barneys and ending at Intermix.
It’s at the latter store where the two gals run into Lily and Carol, who have weirdly patched up their animosity through memories of wanting to be Solid Gold dancers(!?!). No, I am not drunk while writing this (Rufus asked Lily a similar question). After attempting to recreate the Solid Gold look for their family photo, Lily was positively floored that they were able to find leg warmers on the Upper East Side. Clearly, this gal has never been to American Apparel.
NEXT: Charlie gets tough…and rocks a very Serena-friendly dress!