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'Gossip Girl' recap: One wedding and a funeral

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Gossip Girl
Giovanni Rufino / The CW

Gossip Girl

type:
TV Show
Current Status:
Pending
seasons:
4

‘Gossip Girl’ recap: One wedding and a funeral

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A wedding and a funeral? In the same episode of Gossip Girl? It’s okay to space out the big moments.

Let’s get to the happy stuff first: Dorota was a bridesmaid in Eleanor’s wedding! And she looked so cute and happy! I just love how small Cyrus is compared to everyone else. It was kind of like a Hobbit wedding, only with better footwear. But I have to say that Eleanor’s wedding attire was not my favorite. Who gets married in a pantsuit?

R.I.P. Bart Bass, but at least Lily got a nice picture of you on the front page of the New York Times! I mean that’s really most important. Poor Lily. She even had sad, straggly hair. And she has her rather cantankerous mother, CeCe, around. Old Grams seemed a tad bitchier than when we last saw her in the Hamptons. Being in the city must bring out her darker side. One thing I’m a little confused about in terms of Bart’s death is that I thought the P.I. was with Bart in the limo when he got in that accident. Or are we supposed to believe Bart drove himself? And I’m not necessarily convinced the old dude is dead. We never saw his body. I don’t think it’s so far out to think that Bsquared would have faked his death.

Speaking of darker sides, Chuck certainly unveiled his during this episode. And, quite frankly, I loved it. Brooding actually makes Chuck even sexier. Although there were definitely times when he seemed to be doing a creepy homage to Heath Ledger’s Joker. Ed Westwick definitely showed his range in this episode and the scene between Chuck and Blair when she admitted she loved him was utterly heartbreaking. (Favorite line of the night goes to Blair after Nate said she was “maternal”: “I’m not maternal. I’ve just been spending too much time with Cyrus and I’m turning Jewish. Come on, I see kugel.”) I actually got a little misty during their limo goodbye. And then I almost got misty again when Blair had that little heart-to-heart with Cyrus. I just thought it was so cute that she had to bend down to hug him! Can Wallace Shawn please be made a series regular? But back to Blair and Chuck: We finally had some intimacy between our favorite sparring couple. Which again made me misty! Yes, I’m every emotional, TV Watchers. I think it’s the holidays. But I thought it was genuinely moving when Blair found Chuck in her room and she gave him a big ole hug. From the note he left Blair, it appears Chuck has disappeared somewhere. Where do you think he went, TV Watchers? I’m guessing somewhere with a lower drinking age and a temperature warm enough to encourage skimpy female outfits.

Nate seemed oddly distant during this entire episode. His best friend’s father died and he didn’t seem too concerned. And where was his lady, Vanessa? I thought she and Chuck sort of reconciled in order to tell Nate the truth about the Captain. You’d think the girl could at least come to the funeral, although I’m sure she would have worn some kind of purple zebra-print dress with red tights on underneath. At least she could have offered her services as a barista.

Leave it to Serena to wear a completely inappropriate funeral dress. Dear S., I’m not sure that maximizing skin is the way to go when burying your stepfather. Coming in a close second was Little J., of course. Clearly, Jenny still hasn’t heard Blair’s decree that “tights are not pants!” But in shattering news, Jenny parted her bangs for the funeral!! Yes! Victory! She actually almost resembled a 15-year-old girl instead of a chain-smoking, leather enthusiast.

NEXT: Rufus and Lily’s love child?

Why is Aaron even invited to Bart’s funeral? Once again, he didn’t wear a tie. The Snowflake Ball is one thing but no tie for a funeral?! And then I couldn’t believe that he even offered his opinion that Dan should leave the service. Um, Aaron, you’re a guest — be quiet. Actually, go home, shower, and shave. Thanks! Then, true to form, he showed up to his father’s wedding with no tie! What does this kid have against neckties?! At the wedding, he looked like Malachi from Children of the Corn. Frankly, I’m surprised that he wasn’t carrying a sickle. And Serena is actually okay with spending hours next to him on a stuffy plane to Buenos Aires? I hope she brought nose plugs. Or at lease a large bottle of Febreze. His “I think I might be falling in love with you” comment to Serena could not have been more lacking in passion. It was like he said, “I think there might be something in your teeth.” Or “I think I might have to avoid bathing for a few more weeks.” He is sooooo grooosssssss. Maybe he’ll get kidnapped or something in Buenos Aires. Now at least I know what to ask Santa for Christmas.

Then there was that random moment when Eric’s boyfriend showed up to the funeral but nothing happened. Didn’t we find out that guy was cheating on Eric a few episodes ago? It felt as though something had been cut out because why even show the dude coming to the party. I did notice that Eric’s boyfriend and Aaron share a love for the side part and long bangs.

Oh, how I love Rufus. The scene between he and Lily in Central Park was really sweet. And then he went home and played a Lincoln Hawk ditty (“Every time you walk away or you runaway/you take a piece of me with you there…”). That’s my jam. Sing your emotions, Rufus. I can’t believe Lily finally admitted that she loved him. Of course, we need to discuss Lily’s secret. I totally called it in this week’s EW (as did some of you commentors) about Lily and Rufus having a secret child. I don’t really buy Rufus getting so upset about it, though. I feel like he would have been more understanding. But, to be fair, the dude doesn’t have the greatest luck with kids (see Little J. and her Joan Jett remake) so perhaps he’s a little afraid of how this new one turned out. Let’s pray that if they introduce us to this now-old child, he or she is attractive and not of the Aaron-variety. No more skeevies please.

What did you think of last night’s Gossip Girl? Will Lily and Rufus be able to make-up? Is Bart really dead? Will Serena ever realize Aaron is a big greasy tool?