To quote our great leader, Brittany S. Pierce, “Hello, my fellow Americans. The theme for this year’s prom will be dinosaurs. I was inspired by the new girl, Joe, who reminds me of a cavewoman. The refreshments will be berries, meat and cave water.” Think back to your prom experience: Would it have been more fun if you could have dressed up like Barney or done an homage to Jurassic Park?
Student body president Brittany had your T-Rex-loving back last night, and ruled out themes such as “castles in the clouds” or “stairway to heaven” in favor of the more obscure but more-easy-to-perform-a-choreographed-Ke$ha-dance-number to “Dinosaur.” “Your Love Is My Drug” would have been a fun Ke$ha song/prom theme, but probably not the right message for a high school. Not to mention the fact that Brittany wanted to celebrate that dinosaurs and cavemen lived together peacefully, according to the Bible.
The gang mostly all attended prom last year — where Kurt was crowned prom queen as a mean joke, but he sashay-ed in there with enough poise to make Kate Middleton jealous and made it work — so it was obvious why Kurt and Blaine weren’t feeling too festive this time around. Joining them in their pity party was one Rachel Berry, who was understandably devastated by recent events. She sang a very sad version of Fergie’s “Big Girls Don’t Cry,” backed by dream duo Kurt and Blaine, before she hit on her inspiration: Anti.Prom.Party. Hasn’t pretty much every high school outcast thought of this idea at one point or another?
After last year’s Kurt fiasco, you might have thought Principal Figgins would ban crowning anyone this year. But no, Sue announced the nominations, per usual. For king: Rick “The Stick” Nelson, Finn and Brittany. For queen: Missy, Santana and Quinn. Obviously Quinn. She’s in a wheelchair and I assume most students at McKinley have seen Mean Girls. They know how this works — and so did Quinn. As prom campaigning was raging in full force, she had no problem milking her injury for sympathy votes.
Quinn and Finn as a possible prom queen and king was one blow too many for Ms. Berry, so her “anti-prom” soiree was going forward with full force. Since Santana called her out for making prom/senior spring all about herself, the only other attendees were Kurt, Blaine, Puck, and Becky, who was upset she wasn’t voted as a queen nominee. She shouldn’t be too upset, though — she had essentially real queen/possibly Helen Mirren performing her inner monologue. Once they got to the hotel, Blaine wanted to chill out and watch some Bravo (Dream date!) but Becky got raunchy and wanted to play strip poker. She even brought condoms.
NEXT: Quinn has a secret