Today’s the day Brittany and Santana say “I do” in the exact same barn where Brittany was born. Let’s put the details of that disturbing reality aside, and focus on the fact that a Glee wedding means a Glee reunion! As with any nuptials, the brides want to be surrounded by those who love them. We see familiar faces intermingled with the new, beloved family members fraternizing with coaches in track suits, and unexpected attendants boldly taking the stage wearing brightly colored fringe and dapper tuxedoes. Add Burt Hummel into the mix as the officiant, and you have a recipe for a memorable wedding. Mazel tov to the two crazy kids.
But before anyone walks down the aisle, several details have to be managed. Kurt has done his best to help Brittany with her vision, but the bride-to-be is manic about every minor detail. She even flips out during a fashion show with the girls when Santana sees her in her wedding dress. Instead of ritualistically slaughtering a chicken to counteract the bad luck, Santana suggests Brittany use her freaky math brain to help figure out the seating chart. While Brittany arranges the chairs according to the Dewey Decimal System (just go with it), Mercedes wonders why Rachel and Sam aren’t sitting together? Rachel explains that Finn’s mom Carol will be there with Burt, and she doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. Tensions rise when Santana notices a seat for Sue Sylvester. If Sue is there, Santana won’t be. The perils of young love.
Speaking of young love—and by young I mean old—Walter can tell that Kurt is completely head over heels for Blaine. He encourages Kurt to not waste time, because true love won’t stick around forever. He must run toward it. So Kurt literally sprints down the street, directly into the open arms and open mouth of Blaine Anderson. Those shouts you hear are the Klaine fans rejoicing!
Later at the McKinley High, Tina has called a meeting with Puck, Blaine, and Artie in the auditorium because apparently none of them have homes in Lima where they can convene. She tells the boys that she is going to ask Mike to marry her. Blaine is on a romantic high and thinks this is a fabulous idea. Puck asks if the lucky guy is Mike Chang? And Artie warns Tina that this is a crazy idea, but he will support her if that’s what she wants. With all this love and wedding talk, we have to assume that there’s something in the Lima water.
The next day, the Who’s Who among Glee cast members greet one another, taking selfies in front of the barn. All of the Old Directions hug one another, including Mr. Schuester. We meet Blaine’s mom (Gina Gershon), see several of the new New Directions (you’re my boy Roderick!), and even spot Sugar, who is the lone survivor from season four. Emma and Quinn were surprisingly missing.
Burt and Carol are as darling as ever. They are so in love with each other, that it spills out all around them, infecting everything in its wake. This includes Kurt and Blaine. Burt reminds the boys that since his cancer scare and Finn’s death, he and Carol live every day to the fullest, squeezing life as tight as they can. I would like for Burt and Carol to adopt me.
Behind the scenes, Brittany and Santana are discussing the ins and outs of wedding day luck, when an unwelcome guest arrives. Sue Sylvester, wrapped in a shiny black track suit, has a present for Santana—her abuela. Santana’s grandmother sheepishly steps into the barn, confessing that she does not agree with everything Santana does, but she knows that family is the most important thing in the world. Hugs and tears all around!
Sue’s work isn’t done. She finds Klaine standing in the back of the barn, demanding they help her with a “Britana” crisis. Swearing that they will not end up stuck in a barn elevator with a creepy puppet, the pair agrees to help. They walk into a room where Brittany is posing between two mannequins wearing black tuxedos. She proposes a double wedding. Kurt understands the lunacy of this idea, but wavers when Sue hands him two wedding bands. He looks to Blaine, calculating the crazy in his head. There’s DEFINITELY something in the Lima water.
Moments later, Kurt walks Brittany down the aisle, with Blaine and Santana close behind. The audience immediately understands what is going on and shocked faces soon melt into sweet smiles. Burt reminds the audience that he had to drive over a state line in order to officiate the weddings of two brave, loving couples. All four share eloquent vows, admit to being works in progress, and promise to love each other forever. Burt pronounces them husbands and wives. Release the doves! It’s time to party!
NEXT: Meet the Troubletones[pagebreak]
After Brittany’s dad gives the worst wedding toast ever, Santana reminds everyone to grab their OTP (One True Pairing) trucker hat. I was distracted by her white romper to really understand what this was all about, but my attention was quickly regained when Artie led the reception in the first dance number. Let the record show that it was wonderful to see Mike Chang and Brittany together again. They are extremely talented!
It’s too bad Tina pulled Mike off the dance floor to propose. And it’s too bad that Mike basically said, “I like you, but no thanks.” Why she laughed at that extremely embarrassing moment was a bit odd. Then she let him kiss her. Of course Artie saved the day by promising to marry Tina if she’s still a spinster by the ripe old age of 30. How sweet.
Tina and Mike head back out to the reception so they can dance with the Troubletones girl group. All the moms got together, wiggled into short fringe dresses, and then let Gloria Estefan do her thing. Brittany’s mom, Carol Hummel, and Blanie’s mom rounded out the female quartet, as all the young girls executed a perfectly choreographed routine. I laughed out loud at the sight of Kurt and Blaine watching their mothers shimmy to the epic beat of “I’m So Excited.” Their facial expressions were fantastic.
At the end of the night, the four newlyweds call all the couples out onto the dance floor for one last number. Puck makes a beeline for Blaine’s drunk mother, Artie rolls out with Kitty, Sue grabs Coach Beiste, and Sam looks at Rachel. She hesitates, searching the room for the Hummels. Finn’s mom gives her an assuring head nod, absolving Rachel from any guilt she may feel for moving on with her life. It was such a sweet, simple moment. I find myself humbled by the writers consistency to pull Cory Monteith into each episode without it being weird or over-the-top. It’s a nice tribute for the final season. Especially in an episode that revolves around love.
“At Last” by Etta James
Mercedes and Artie sang this quintessential wedding song, and it was really good. When the first few notes came out of Mercedes’ mouth, I knew she would be able to sing the song without any problems, but I’ve never heard the Etta James classic as a duet. Artie’s voice sounded very mature. He and Mercedes harmonized well together to an arrangement that was quite unexpected. It was my favorite song of the night.
“Hey Ya” by Outkast
Once again, Artie took control of the reception, with the help of Madison and Jane. Everyone was on the dance floor for this number. It was evident that the cast members, old and new, were having a wonderful time. The synchronized clapping and Kevin McHale’s commitment to the moment resulted in a fun performance.
“I’m So Excited” by The Pointer Sisters
The Troubletones were an interesting addition to the night, but when you have Gloria Estefan, what are you going to do? The costume change into short fringe numbers was a bit much, but the performance itself was fun and energetic. You have to admit that all four women gave it their all. The choreography was a bit elementary. However, I may have been too distracted to notice anything else due to Santana’s wedding romper.
“Our Day Will Come” by Ruby & The Romantics
This performance by Santana, Brittany, Kurt, and Blaine was about as bland as you can get. I would have loved for “At Last” to have been the finale of the wedding reception, but it definitely worked well as the processional song. I understand the symbolism of the song’s lyrics, but I found the entire number a little tired.
“Mercedes, I need you to find a spider, because it’s good luck to put a spider on your dress. Tina, I need you to find some wine glasses to smash like the Jews do, because they have the best of luck. And Rachel, I need you to find me a lizard to cross my path. It’s like witches lore or something. I need all the good luck I can get! I don’t want to end up like Jack and Rose!”—Brittany, freaking out that her wedding day bad luck will end like the Titanic
“I’ve been thinking about you while planning this wedding, and not just because you remind me of the pig and the gay rat in Charlotte’s Web.”—Brittany, trying to persuade Kurt to marry Blaine
“I got you a gift. Don’t worry, it’s not a song or a minority choir.”—Sue, handing over envelopes containing honeymoon itineraries for the newlyweds