Gather round, drama lovers, it’s time for “Jessica Place” on Fresh Off the Boat. With your regular, extremely capable recapper Will, out for the night, gone also is his ranking of ’90s moments, but that’s only because the entire episode of was one giant ’90s homage to Melrose Place. Tonight, Fresh Off the Boat became the land of betrayal, manipulation, backroom planning, and all kinds of soapy goodness, and hair-related reveals, all with a huge dose of humor, as per usual.
At her weekly Melrose Place watch party with the horrible Deidre and her cronies, Jessica learns the concept of TV season finales (as we all know, they’re the worst) as Honey continues to get passive-aggressive comments from the neighborhood women who still feel an alliance with Marvin’s ex-wife (the woman with the cocaine problem who apparently identified as “asexual” in the last census). Jessica’s life goes gray at the idea of a whole summer without the drama and intrigue of Melrose Place, but quickly her life gets Melrose-ified.
During Jessica’s lowest Melrose-less moment, Honey suggests to her best friend that she get a pool, and Jessica happily obliges. Unfortunately for Eddie, who was hoping for a backyard pool with a waterfall complete with “giggling honeys” for him to ogle, Jessica settles on a MUCH less extravagant aboveground pool. But at least it comes with faux-wood paneling!
Unfortunately for Jessica, the HOA has to vote on all changes made to the homes in the neighborhood, and Deidre shows her fake ways by making everyone vote against Jessica’s pool, as well as an adorable cow mailbox — renamed the “moo box” by Evan — that Jessica’s neighbor Lisa wanted to install on her property.
Jessica complains about Deidre’s true colors to Honey, who has known all along just how fake her nemesis really is, and she proves it some more by bringing Jessica to Deidre’s house for some snooping. The two quickly discover a major secret. Is it that Deidre is cheating, in true Melrose Place fashion? The secret’s not quite so scandalous, but it’s definitely in keeping with the Melrose theme: Turns out Deirdre with the perfect hair doesn’t get her hair so shiny thanks to olive oil as she claims. That shine is all fake — Jessica and Honey reveal to Carol through some detailed photos that Deidre actually wears a wig!
Meanwhile, after seeing Emery freak out at his father and himself following a breath-holding contest, Eddie learns his brother has a history of having intense emotional outbursts as a result of holding in his feelings for much longer than is healthy or recommended by mental health professionals. Louis doesn’t think too much about it; he’s much more focused on buying a vest at Structure, the store he’s been dreaming about going inside. Eddie tells Emery that he needs to learn how to express his frustrations in a much healthier fashion, but unfortunately Emery takes that as meaning he needs to express his frustrations much too openly and harshly, which he proves by telling his father that the vest he just bought is terrible.
NEXT: The real puppet masters