Here’s why you shouldn’t date older men: They seem all sexy and sincere at first. Then, you find out they have hidden families. And then you find out that they’re drug dealers. And then they turn into sincere stalkers who probably want revenge. What, that doesn’t happen to everyone? Well, it happened to Carter!
This week, there’s no separating the teens from the adults because, for once, everyone — other than Jared — was on the same team (read: Elizabeth finally got out of the house).
We kick things off right where we left them, with Carter and Jared discussing what it means to have morals. Spoiler: Carter has them, and Jared does not. She feels incredibly guilty about Seth, and Jared is all, “It’s not on us.” Instead, he’d rather them talk about their plan for what to tell the cops because “the truth” is so 2009. (No idea why 2009, but I chose it, so go with it.)
After asking Jared to keep Ben’s name out of things, Carter runs off to place some Grade-A blame on her dear old brother. He claims he wasn’t the one who sold to Seth, but we all know that Carter isn’t the best when it comes to trusting Ben. So instead, she runs back to her sketchy boyfriend just in time for the cops to show up at the bar. They want to take Jared and Carter in for questioning. And yet they still don’t realize that Carter’s underage and working at a bar. Either Ben is the Picasso of fake IDs, or these cops suck. (I’m betting on the latter.)
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At the police station, my theory is confirmed when the cops claim they know that Carter’s running the parties but still don’t realize that she’s 17. Instead, they try the old “your boyfriend is throwing you under the bus” trick, which Carter nearly falls for before calling Lori for help. But in a shocking move, Lori does the right thing and calls Elizabeth. Suddenly, Carter is being saved by her two moms as Elizabeth storms in and informs the detective that he’s questioning a minor. And yet NO ONE thinks Carter should get in trouble for working at a bar and/or throwing these parties as a minor.
Elizabeth then informs the world’s worst cops that these same drugs are linked to five other dead bodies, which means they’ve stepped into a much bigger case. The bad news is that they still want to pin it on Carter. But Carter, ever the fearless, idiot teenager doesn’t feel the need to listen to her mothers after they bring up potential manslaughter charges. Instead, she once again runs to Jared to see if he really threw her under the bus. (Apparently, relationships are more important than possible jail time in Carter’s mind.) Spoiler: Jared didn’t betray Carter…yet.
From there, Carter runs off to spend some time with Bird, who’s grieving by planning a memorial for Seth, complete with booze, dancing, etc. Luckily, the couple took a freakish amount of photos during their short relationship, so they’ve got more than enough decor. But when Carter apologizes to Bird about Ben selling Seth the drugs, Bird informs her that she was with Seth when he bought the drugs…and it was Jared who sold them. (So, I love you, Bird, but why didn’t you immediately run to Carter and tell her that her man sold drugs??)
NEXT: From love interest to stalker…oh how the hairy have fallen
Meanwhile, poor nobody-will-believe-me-ever Ben tells Jared that he’s out of the drug business, for real this time. And by the time that Carter catches up with him, he’s packing his bags, sure that the cops are going to blame him even though he’s not responsible. It’s there that he finally tells Carter that Jared blackmailed him into selling. Just like that, Carter is ready to take Jared down.
But because she’s 17 and, despite popular belief, not a criminal mastermind, she and Max make Jared suspicious by snooping around his bar, and it takes Jared all of 10 seconds to run to the cops and tell them that Carter did know about the drugs being brought into the party.
Side note: To answer Jared’s question, “Is it wrong that I think you’re even more beautiful when you’re sad?” YES.
Thankfully, Carter has not one but two moms who are willing to do anything to help her. And when Lori says she wants to “kill” Jared, Elizabeth gets an idea. Visiting Jared at the bar, Lori and Elizabeth pull the “good cop, crazy mom” technique, according to Jared. But it works. When Lori grabs Elizabeth’s gun and points it at Jared, he confesses to everything. And of course, the women are wearing wires.
With that, Jared is arrested, and Carter is left to thank both of her moms. Well, thank them and also apologize to Elizabeth for being a horrible teenager. Finally, those two make up.
Back at Bird’s, we get our second-to-last (and slightly predictable) twist: Bird’s pregnant. (However, the real twist is that she’s pregnant and JUST did Molly.)
And our last (official) twist? Jared is out of jail and stalking Carter…or so it seems.
Where’s Crash when you need him, amirite?
What did you all think of the hour? Hit the comments with your thoughts, or find me on Twitter @samhighfill.