With Thirio only two weeks away from opening, things are getting heated in the soon-to-be restaurant in the Bronx. Kevin is rubbing everyone the wrong way; Dion can’t stop whining about losing his job as the head chef; Tommy is too chicken to stand up to his father; and the icing on the cake is that the presence of the Tooth Fairy lingers over everything. That’s a recipe for disaster if I’ve ever heard one.
“Secret Sauce” begins with the biggest problem, according to Dion: Kevin, the head chef hired by Aidan Moran. Everyone’s on the rooftop complaining about him when he suddenly shows up and tells everyone to get back to work. He even says “playtime’s over” because he’s a cheesy ’50s comic book villain in a chef’s smock. Anyway, while Tommy is trying to play nice, even as Kevin wants to make changes to the wine list, Dion is sick of the whole arrangement and wants to enact change.
Meanwhile, the Tooth Fairy’s dad somehow didn’t die in that prison shanking incident — despite being stabbed 19 times! — so he’s in the hospital for now, though things are looking grim. When the doctor says she can’t guarantee any sort of outcome both good or bad, the Tooth Fairy sends a quick text. The doctor’s phone rings and it’s her son, the Tooth Fairy intimidating her by showing just what he’s capable of: getting good cell reception in a prison hospital. I’m joking, he seems way more dangerous than that.
Back at Thirio, Dion and Tommy continue to butt heads with Kevin. First, the new head chef wants to install heat lamps to keep the plates warm, which completely goes against Rie’s design. That sends Tommy into a fit, as he lays down the law and says no. Worse than that is the fact that Kevin has a plastic tub full of marinade that he calls his “secret sauce,” which sends Dion into a rage. “McDonalds has a secret sauce!” he screams to Tommy, but there’s nothing they can do. They signed the contract.
It probably doesn’t help Dion’s disposition that the Tooth Fairy is demanding he get paid $6,000 for one reason or another. Dion says that wasn’t the deal, but the Tooth Fairy informs him that the deal is whatever the hell he wants it to be. So, we’re left with the same old episode structure: Dion must find a way to pay the Tooth Fairy without letting Tommy know about what’s really going on while all sorts of coincidences pile up, leading to a resolution that keeps everyone happy for a brief time.
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The contrivances start when Pilar once again goes to her sister for advice about running a restaurant — this time it’s a question about health inspections. As Pilar is peppering her with questions and distracting her while she’s trying to work, her sister takes a fall and smacks her head on the floor. She insists she’s all good and Pilar heads back to Thirio, but we all know better. That head bump will pay off later.
NEXT: Stuck in everything[pagebreak]
Meanwhile, Dion needs that cash fast, so he asks good ol’ Uncle Stavros for a loan. Stavros says he doesn’t have any cash at the moment but that he’s headed to New Jersey to collect, so he’ll be able to send along the $6,000 soon. Unfortunately, as soon as Stavros hits the road on his motorcycle two of the Tooth Fairy’s henchmen just so happen to see him and run him straight off the road. And this is after the Tooth Fairy kills the prison guard that let his father get shanked. These guys are a mess of a criminal outfit.
Back at the restaurant Dion is introducing himself to Laura, a cute young blond woman who’s looking for a job. Both Tommy and Dion do the sexist thing and assume she’s here to be a waitress, but she informs them she’s a cook. Then she informs them that she’s Kevin’s daughter, so she’ll definitely be getting the job. That sets Dion off for good and he starts to formulate a plan to get rid of Kevin.
At the same time Pilar and Tommy are worried about funding for the restaurant. The cash flow has stopped, and while Aidan Moran says he’ll talk to his accountant about it, we know he’s running out of cash. His business is struggling; he’s one bad deal away from only having racist thoughts and a silent lady in a jumpsuit left in his life.
Before long that head injury to Pilar’s sister comes back and sets off another string of narrative coincidences. At the hospital Pilar runs into the Tooth Fairy and she opens up about her troubles with the health inspection at the restaurant. That prompts the Tooth Fairy to pull some bureaucratic strings and get the health inspection moved up and approved rather easily. And this is all while Dion is mixing up coke and flour to sell in order to pay his $6,000 debt, so the Tooth Fairy is very much inserting himself into this Thirio business.
When Dion goes to sell that coke he takes TJ along with him. As TJ wanders off on his own and starts drawing on a truck covered in graffiti, inspired by his new crush, he’s approached by a cop who freaks out and takes him to the ground. Dion shows up before things get bad though, and back at home he has a talk with TJ about how situations like that one are going to be common in his life because of the color of his skin. It’d be an insightful moment if Feed the Beast wasn’t so goofy about everything else.
Anyway, everything ends up working out in the end. Dion manages to pull off an elaborate plan to get Kevin out of the kitchen. He lures him to a bar, gets him drunk, shows him a scandalous picture of his daughter (who Dion slept with), which causes a brawl. That’s exactly what Dion wants because he planted his cop buddy/foe in the bar and has him arrest Kevin after the chef punches the cop during the skirmish. You get all that?
Back at Thirio things are looking up. Pilar is back to work, even as Tommy remains selfish and doesn’t even ask about the health of her sister, Kevin is out as the chef, and Dion and Tommy are back in control of their restaurant. More tension is on the way though, as the episode ends with Tommy despondently looking at Dion and TJ sharing food. He’s getting angry about their natural bond, which is only exacerbated by the fact that Dion had the talk with TJ before Tommy could.
But, as a last-minute scene reveals, it might not be long before Dion has his own kid to worry about. The lawyer he was sleeping with is pregnant, and another complication is inserted into the already overly-complicated lives of these two best friends.