First things first, I’d like to introduce myself to you all as the new DWTS recapper. I’m Samantha, a staffer here at EW, and a veteran recapper. You might know me from Grey’s Anatomy recaps or my weekly rants about The Originals‘ Elijah. But I promise I won’t talk about vampires or doctors in these recaps — unless there are appropriately themed dances, which would be fun. I’m a big dance fan and an even bigger fan of shows that force celebrities to dance, so DWTS is a natural fit. Like many of you, I also loved the recaps of the one and only Fringe Fairy, Annie Barrett, and I’m desperately hoping some of her fairy dust has rubbed off on me during the time we got to work together. For now, I hope you’ll join me on the dance floor and see how the rest of this season unfolds. Fair warning: I twerk. (I’m kidding.)
Welcome to the happiest dance floor on Earth, everybody! Not only was tonight Disney-themed, but also, after last week’s switch-up, everyone had returned to their rightful partners, or as Tom Bergeron put it, they did some “conscious recoupling.” (Bravo, Tom! Seriously.) And with that, we welcomed guest judge Donny Osmond, who let it slip that Walt Disney had actually discovered his brothers way back in the day. Small world, right?! Also, he was Captain Shang in Mulan, so he’d like everyone to know that he has enough Disney cred to be here tonight. Don’t worry.
So shall we dance?
Drew Carey and Cheryl Burke: 28/40 First up, Drew and Cheryl performed an Aladdin-themed quickstep, complete with a dancing Genie. Len thought the performance was “zip-a-dee-doo-dah.” It had a lot of zip but the technique was “doo-dah.” Good one, Len. Donny reminisced about his time on the show and how he hated the quickstep (but still won!). Then he started giving Drew advice about how extending your arm should feel like it comes out of your core. Okay, Donny. We get it: You WON.
Bruno admitted that Drew’s technique had softened, and Carrie Ann called Drew out on a strange face he makes when he loses focus (a.k.a. Drew Carey’s normal face).
Charlie White and Sharna Burgess: 37/40 Len’s first 10 of the season went to this Mary Poppins-themed jazz number that involved a cane and an umbrella. PSA: Props are the worst. They make me nervous and they only serve to sabotage you. Example A) This routine, when poor, adorable Charlie dropped the cane. Yes, he picked it up and kept smiling, but no one was able to forget it happened, not even with Charlie’s amazing blazer. And as a result, this dance will forever be known as almost perfect. Almost. Ugh, PROPS.
Danica McKellar and Valentin Chmerkovskiy: 39/40 Honestly, the first thing I noticed about this Beauty and the Beast routine was the huge blow-up champagne bottle in the background, so that tells you a lot about where I am in life right about now. But enough about me: This number was all about Danica, who, according to Bruno, had “tamed the beast.” In Grey’s Anatomy land — I know, I’m making a reference — that means she’s no longer horny, but in Dancing land, I’m not totally positive what it means. But I do know that Carrie Ann was a big enough fan to give Danica a hug. Meanwhile, Len was a bit of a buzzkill, and Donny simply reminded everyone he was on Broadway. Hey, did you guys also know that he won this show once?!
Other important things to note: The moment Val blatantly looked down Danica’s dress while getting their scores, and this line from Erin Andrews to Val: “Did you get lessons this week about how to be a beast form your brother?” Dayummm, she wasn’t holding anything back.
NEXT: Happy tears are better than frustrating tears!