The characters who live on Desperate Housewives‘ Wistera Lane don’t leave Fairview very often, but last night’s new episode saw Gaby Solis and Angie Bolen taking a trip to the Big Apple. Finally, I thought, we’ll get some answers about Angie Bolen’s past. Mostly I thought so because she lived in NYC whenever her long-ago indiscretions happened. But, as has been the case with the show lately, we really got bupkis. Zilch. A whole lot of nothing. This was one trip to NYC that was rather pointless.
Well, so I suppose that we did get a little something — not that it was earth-shattering or even enough to make me give a hoot about the Bolen drama, one of Desperate Housewives‘ most boring mysteries ever. As we knew from before, Angie is on the run from a guy named Patrick Logan. Turns out — and this is the big reveal! — that Patrick (and not Nick) fathered Danny (or, as he used to be known, Tyler). Angie also revealed that she and Patrick, during a crazy period where they went kind of radical in terms of trying to save the earth, had been responsible for someone’s death. (Which isn’t shocking!) And from the sounds of it, that’s when Nick swooped in to help her escape and get away from Patrick. Still not shocking.
Now, I don’t know if it’s just that we haven’t seen this Patrick Logan yet or what, but the stakes just don’t seem very high here, do they? Or, am I missing something? Angie keeps saying that Patrick is such a scary, crazy guy, but what evidence do we have of that? I guess I’m saying that the show would do well to show us Patrick now and give us an idea of who this supposed crazy man is: Like, does he mutilate people in his backyard? Does he have a scary wall covered with photos of Angie and Danny/Tyler with strings as connectors to tips he’s received about their whereabouts over the years? Does he have a hole in his basement where he lowers a bucket with lotion in it? What, tell me, what?!?
Well, it turns out that Patrick Logan does know where she lives now, as we saw at the end of the episode when a neighbor of Angie’s mother offered the information to him for a cool $1,000. So next week, then? Is that when we’ll see Patrick maybe? (Or not until April?)If you think about it, we don’t have too many more episodes this season. It’s high time to get this mystery crackling a little bit more! And there was one other mystery from last night that I’d like solved: Why was Angie dressed like a crazy babushka last night outside her mom’s house? I get that she was trying to be covert, but that head scarf and those sunglasses she put on at her mother’s apartment only made her stand out like, well, a babushka on the streets of NYC. Weird.
NEXT: Katherine seeks some expert advice