It’s amazing, to me, how an aging show like Desperate Housewives manages to seamlessly move from one mystery to the next. Last night’s season 5 finale is the perfect example of the soap’s uncanny ability to constantly regenerate and continue its intrigue. The Dave Williams (or should we be referring to him as Dave Dash now that everyone knows his big secret and true identity?) drama came to its shocking — but not too shocking — end just as another can of worms was opened in the saga: Just who did Mike end up taking to the altar?
(EW’s own TV scoop master Michael Ausiello pontificated on who could be walking down the aisle a few weeks back, even though most of the combos are voided after seeing one-half of the wedding party — that’d be Mike — last night. But his guesses about Mike were spot-on.)
Of course, with the way the show came to an end — Mike saved ex-wife Susan and cute son MJ from the crazy clutches of Dave — we’re probably supposed to believe that Wisteria Lane’s hot plumber said ”I do” to Susan yet again, in a wave of euphoria after the rescue. I mean, the pair shared a rather passionate kiss after Mike’s car went smashing into Dave’s SUV just hours after he left bride-to-be Katherine alone with two lattes at the airport. And the entire episode was rife with hints at a possible reconciliation between the pair — everything from Susan asking Mike if he really loved Katherine to Katherine calling Mike out for not perking up on their wedding day until after he spoke to Susan.
But, naturally, we viewers weren’t privy to who the veiled character was next to Mike at the altar. (Damn those perfect camera angles and too-too-big veil!) The woman could have been Susan (which deserves a too-perfect cluck cluck), but it also could have been Katherine (which deserves a too-boring zing zing). Or, perhaps very doubtfully but in a twist befitting of Desperate, is it someone else entirely? Possibly someone we don’t even know yet? The key here is that in that final church scene we saw neither Katherine or Susan (I double-checked that they weren’t in background shots or anywhere else) as the camera panned past Bree, Lynette, and Gaby and summed up their respective situations.
The most pressing — and riveting — situation involving the ladies last night, however, was of course the final chapter in Dave’s revenge against Susan. As Dave had been planning for weeks (which is why the whole thing wasn’t so extremely shocking), he headed away on a meticulously planned boating trip with Susan and little MJ in tow. While on the boat, Dave planned to kill the tyke, so that Susan would feel the pain he felt after losing his wife and child in the three-years-prior car accident that she caused.
Like the truly demented person that he is, Dave made a premeditated confession video, which outlined his plans, and left it with Mike. (One random note: Why use a real videotape? Wouldn’t he just record with his Flip Cam and then set the clip to email to Mike at a pre-set time? Alas, that wouldn’t have worked with the storyline where Katherine grabbed the tape and Mike accidentally turned it on at the airport. But I’m just sayin’!)
”Susan Mayer killed my wife and daughter,” Dave said in the confessional video, while looking directly into the camera, a single tear streaking his face. ”The police called it an accident, but I don’t believe a person who takes two precious lives should be allowed to just walk away. I know some people will wonder, Why didn’t I just kill Susan? But what good would that have done? She’d be dead. There’d be no suffering.” Suffering — and a revenge served totally cold, as Susan and Mike had no idea who Dave really was — was Dave’s intent.
NEXT PAGE: What drove Dave — and will he be back?