Thanks to Dancing With the Stars — always on the cutting edge of the internet — for providing alternative answer to one of October’s most probing questions, “What does the fox say?” Turns out it says…. three perfect 10s?!
Yep — Team “Foxing Awesome” apparently could not have improved upon their thrashing freestyle interpretation of Ylvis’ bizarro viral hit “The Fox” — even though, as rivaling dancer and zombie guardian Bill Engvall said, they looked like they were ready to perform a school play. I blame the presence of Derek Hough for this crazy perfect 30. He’s never lost a team dance and tonight was no different. We must never break hold! These are the bedazzled hair ties that bind.
No such luck for Team Spooky Bom Bom, which had to accept straight 9s for the night despite more cohesive team choreography and a surprisingly commanding presence from Engvall as crypttkeeper/de facto team leader (he was the only one aliiiiiiiive!). Bom Bom’s 27 couldn’t push eliminated couple Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi and her partner Sasha Farber out of the red jeopardy light. They head home having out-scored three other teams and will never get to dance for Cher — next week’s guest judge — unless Cher has a nightmare about a dancing chihuahua/squirrel monkey/meatball.
“You’re a bite-size, rule-hating bundle of charisma,” Tom assured Snooki before tonight’s somewhat lackluster (but still high-scoring, at 27) samba. She didn’t know it was a compliment! I think Snooki might freeze up and instinctively start icing people out (ahem, Carrie Ann) as soon they call her short.
Will the judges please reveal their scores? Carrie Ann Inahhhhh-ber!
Amber Riley and Derek Hough: 91 total points (29 + 30 tonight) Midseason meltdowns abounded as injuries and fatigue took their toll on the remaining couples. Will they succumb to the evil doctors who tell them to quit tearing up their poor limbs 14 hours a day? Or will they STEP IT UP? Amber and Derek will step it up! Her knee and shoulder are “f—ed up,” Derek’s back is killing him, and Derek’s fashion hat fell off. Things were dire! But true Sparkaliens will always push through.
Len’s recent vendetta against Derek disintegrated during their passionate and seemingly effortless (how?! when they are both in such pain!) paso doble. “Every nuance of that music was picked out,” Len raved. “You are back in the game.” To be fair, they were never out and are the clear frontrunners of the season. I loved that they went with traditional paso music, and it wasn’t just the choreography that was on point: Amber’s musicality is so advanced that she knew all the right expressions to make and beats to hit even outside of the more obvious, hard-hitting moments.
Hidden gem: “Fringe Fairy, did you see the pink shoe fringe that the female pros and decoys wore at the beginning of the show?” –Colleen
NEXT: ‘Val’s just drilling it into me over and over and over.’