Maureen McCormick calls Dancing With the Stars a dream world. Um, tell us something we don’t know, Marcia Brady. It’s always been the land of sparkle journeys and dreams becoming reality, but perhaps the ballroom has never been as much of a dream world as it is on Cirque Du Soleil theme night. There are tiny bikes being ridden by rain boots, acrobats hanging from the ceiling, and fire. Lots of fire.
Before we can sit back, relax, and let our jaws drop to the floor though, Tom “I don’t come with paddles” Bergeron gives us some bad news: Two couples will be going home this week in a results show double elimination. It’s a shame, too, because all of our couples (save for one) bring their A game.
Shall we dance?
Calvin Johnson Jr. and Lindsay Arnold
Charleston, KURIOS — Cabinet of Curiosities
If the flips, lifts, and tricks of Cirque Du Soleil were built for any pairing, it’s Megatron and Lindsay. In rehearsals, Lindsay pushes her partner to really go for it in this Charleston and the girl almost ends up in the rafters. Could “that was almost death” be the new tagline for DWTS? It’s intense, people. Out on the floor, there’s a cool flying bicyclist from the Cirque squad — but other than that, this routine is all Calvin and Lindsay, and it is tremendous. The dance is fast, fun, and full of seamless lifts. And good news: Since it’s Cirque night, Carrie Ann is throwing her lift deductions out the window. She even applauds Calvin for his ability to keep fluid movement in and out of those big lifts. All that sweating was worth it. Give that man a towel!
Judges’ Score: 24/30
Maureen McCormick and Artem Chigvintsev
Argentine Tango, Mystère
Well, I guess we’re all crying now. Maureen and Artem are having a tough week. Maureen can’t get a grasp on the Argentine tango steps, and Artem begins questioning all of his life choices. Should he even be dancing anymore? Artem, pull yourself together. You are a gift to all of our eyeballs. Thankfully, the cutest little pairing in all the dance world works through their issues and dance a very intense routine. But honestly, can giant drums as your music signal any other kind of dancing? The judges and Maureen are completely wowed. Carrie Ann loves that Maureen completely disappears into the world of her dance, and Julianne tells Maureen to simply trust in her partner. Julianne’s headband thought Maureen’s posture was spot on, and we all know that headband is a real stickler.
Judges’ Score: 24/30
Jana Kramer and Gleb Savchenko
Foxtrot, The Beatles LOVE
If you learn nothing else from Cirque night, know this: Hippies love the foxtrot. At least, that’s the story Jana and Gleb’s routine seems to tell. Like Maureen and Artem, Jana and Gleb get a little frustrated in rehearsals. It’s to be expected though, since Jana is traveling on tour and getting minimal sleep. But in the end, Jana and Gleb make up and promise to simply dance for each other. They’re really feeling the love from The Beatles LOVE, I guess. As it turns out, those little hippies dance quite the elegant routine. All the judges are big fans. Jana’s a good dancer, she just needs to lose some of the tension that crops up in her shoulders. In other news: I could listen to Bruno talk about stellar underarm passes all night long. The heart wants what the heart wants.
Judges’ Score: 23/30
NEXT: Derek Hough, Caped Crusader