Amber Rose and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Viennese Waltz, Game of Thrones Theme
Julianne is distracted by Amber’s clunky shoes (and clunky footwork), but the only thing I’m distracted by is the fact that MAKS IS KHAL DROGO. Like, how do you expect me to write anything coherent when that is a real thing happening on my TV screen? Although Amber and Maks haven’t been showing the greatest connection during their routines, it’s clear they have a partnership that works for them. Amber needs someone who will keep her moving, and Maks likes his partner’s great work ethic. The judges aren’t so hot on the pair; they all want Amber to push herself a bit more, in both performance and technique. Where’s little Drogon when you need him?
Judges’ Score: 24/40
Jake T. Austin and Jenna Johnson
Cha Cha, Go, Diego Go! Theme
Cover your children’s eyes if you want to keep their childhood intact. Jake here was the voice of Nickelodeon’s Diego back in the day, but he and Jenna want to show a more mature Diego in their cha cha. Enter Magic Mike Diego and Sexy Jungle Kitty, all set to the original theme song. So, yeah, it’s a little jarring. But, as the song says, we’re all discovering together. Mainly, we’re all discovering that Jake is having some timing issues. Carrie Ann says he’s always ahead of the beat and his movement looks forced. Julianne thinks that if he focuses on his chemistry and partnership with Jenna, the problem should correct itself. Baby Jaguar isn’t there, but he probably thought the routine was just so-so. He always was a diva.
Judges’ Score: 24/40
Vanilla Ice and Witney Carson
Foxtrot, “Love and Marriage” by Frank Sinatra (theme from Married…With Children)
TV night is really bringing it in the costume department. Witney Carson is a top-notch Peg Bundy. That’s a sentence I never dreamed I would write, but I’m so happy to have had the opportunity. The dancing, however, isn’t totally top-notch. There’s definitely more content in the style of dance compared to last week, but it’s missing some refinement. Bruno warns Vanilla Ice to watch his lines next time. Len admits he was thoroughly entertained by the whole thing, but he’s just in a good mood because he got to use the line “thrilla in Vanilla.” Bless his heart.
Terra Jolé and Sasha Farber
Quickstep, Bewitched Theme
Julianne’s right: This routine was made for Terra, all the way down to the hair. (But seriously: How great was her hair?) Terra and Sasha are feeling good after their well-received first dance, but the quickstep brings on a new challenge: The couple will have to be in hold. Well, they nail the hold. The entire routine is graceful, elegant, and fun. Obviously, Julianne was a fan, and she calls it her favorite of the night. Carrie Ann thinks their frame was the best they’ve seen so far. Uncomfortable Dick York/Dick Sargent joke aside, Terra and Sasha are proving to be contenders.
Judges’ Score: 31/40
Kenny “Babyface” Edmonds and Allison Holker
Argentine Tango, The X-Files Theme
What on earth is happening tonight? Babyface and Allison are tasked with dancing a sultry, sexy Argentine tango to the theme from The X-Files. Is Allison supposed to be an alien or something? You know what? I don’t care. This shouldn’t work, but it does! Part of this is due to Babyface actually taking the music and reworking it to better fit the dance style (smart!); part of it is owed to Toni Braxton, sexiness coach; and most of it is owed to the great chemistry between this pair. Babyface is so reserved, but on the dance floor he really connects with Allison. In other news, Bruno Tonioli is a huge X-Files fan. He expounds on the sexual tension between Mulder and Scully so much that I’m 82-percent sure he must have a podcast on the subject. If not, he should start one and steal Carrie Ann’s nickname for Babyface: “Mr. Smulder.” I LOVE THIS SHOW.
Judges’ Score: 30/40
NEXT: World, meet Disney Beyoncé