We made it to the Dancing With the Stars finals, team! Be proud. I mean, you lived through a sexy Go, Diego, Go! dance. You deserve to celebrate a little bit. But let’s not dwell on the past. Instead, let’s focus on the task at hand: The finals! As is DWTS tradition, the finals are all about that freestyle. They are also about relentlessly nagging the pros to find out just how stressed they are. The answer: very.
But before we get to the pressure-filled freestyle round, the judges will give each couple a dance style they’ve already performed but left much to be desired. It’s called the Redemption Round, so you know things are about to get serious. Let there be dance:
Calvin Johnson Jr. and Lindsay Arnold
Viennese Waltz, “I Am Your Man” by Ryan Shaw
As you may recall, when this whole shebang started months ago, no one — his own family included — thought Calvin had a chance at becoming anything remotely resembling a dancer. Well, every single person was wrong and they can all suck it. Was that aggressive? GOOD. Just kidding, you guys. Calvin and Lindsay are much classier than that. They’re just happy to see improvement each week (Lindsay has the tape to prove it), and have enjoyed their time dancing together. Aww. I’m going to miss watching these two dance. There’s an ease about their movement together that makes every step fluid and smooth. Of course Carrie Ann has to ruin the fun by calling out a minor “lift,” which was not really a lift at all and could we just not with this tonight? Before my blood pressure goes up too high, Calvin gets surprised by his little son Caleb, who he hasn’t seen in weeks. Megatron cries tears of joy, and a nation cries with him.
Jana Kramer and Gleb Savchenko
Tango, “Stay the Night” by Zedd
Jana and Gleb are pretty pumped to get a second chance at the tango. They tackled this style during week two when Jana was suffering from a rib injury. Now, Gleb only has a deadly flu virus, so no big deal. The two hotties with bodies have very little rehearsal time together since Gleb has been ordered to rest, and when they are able to practice in the same room, Gleb’s lips are covered up by a mask. This is a travesty for all of us. Their routine isn’t a total travesty though, but Julianne is right on the money when she says it’s missing the spark that their previous dances have contained. It’s an improvement for sure, but doesn’t garner the 10s they were hoping for. Also, Carrie Ann once again deducts a point for a foot just barely coming off the floor. Every Nationally Televised Dance Competition Finals has a pooper, that’s why we invited you.
Judges’ Score: 35/40
NEXT: Paso it to me, baby