Uggggggggggh. How outrageous and awful! Sabrina Bryan and Louis Van Amstel — the highest scorers for the past two weeks — have been eliminated on Week 6 of Dancing With the Stars: All-Stars. Obviously they were not getting the fan votes. We all know this is a popularity contest, but I still didn’t expect the leading couple to head home during a season that’s supposed to reward technical prowess. I’m not terribly surprised. I’m just sad for the end of this great partnership. And I wonder if it might be time to revise the voting system.
As soon as Sabrina’s name was FINALLY called, everyone stood still. Carrie Ann clutched her stomach in agony, still hurting from that too-tight sparkly seatbelt from Monday night. Sabrina had been very lightly crying the entire hour but managed to keep composure and thank Louis and her fans for voting her onto the season in the first place. Louis said he’d only had something this special with his former partner Kelly Osbourne in season 9. Tom spoke for all of the people who loved Sabrina with a resounding “Week 6 sucks!” And Sabrina’s mom casually joined in on the audience’s overwhelming boos. That was pretty great.
Let’s look on the bright side: At least Sabrina left in the best costume she’s ever worn, after the best two-week run she could have possibly presented. Her gone-too-soon Week 6 demise (hey, “thanks for slapping me,” she told Brooke after Brooke cheerfully reminded her of the past in a staggering display of foreshadowing) could remind people that they really do need to vote. Eh, I’m probably done looking on the bright side. I really liked this couple!
Onto more misery: Derek has been quietly suffering from an injury to his neck vertebrae, so next week (and possibly for longer), Shawn will be dancing with her season 8 partner Mark Ballas. Awwww. A theme night without Derek is like a cheese roll without a cup of tea. Do I sound like Len? Enough with the frippery!
Here’s the lineup for next week’s fusion, or as Tom calls it, “fuuuuuuuusion!” dances:
Melissa and Tony: Tango / Cha Cha (you gave my favorite away)
Gilles and Peta: Argentine Tango / Samba
Kirstie and Maks: Quickstep / Samba
Shawn and Mark: Tango / Paso Doble
Emmitt and Cheryl: Rumba / Samba
Kelly and Val: Cha Cha / Foxtrot
Apolo and Karina: Cha Cha / Paso Doble
Oh, and a random call to sparkly armbands from me: Someone needs to write some better questions for Brooke than “Who do you think is going home?” Who would answer that?
I think even our old friend CowBall would know better than to go there — and he’s a cow!
NEXT: The Top 7 (“seh-vehhhhhn!”) moments of the results show