Pull the shades! Monday was Guilty Pleasure night on Planet Mirrorballus. “The guiltiest pleasure of all is ballroom dancing,” said Tom Bergeron, speaking to Dancing With the Stars viewers directly about our reality TV addiction. Silly Tom. That guy just always wants to talk to me.
One of the greatest GPs of all time? That band of brothers Hanson, who had the huge hit “MMMBop” in 1996. All of their hair is darker now, and their voices are lower and all mature. Why aren’t they still 13 years old? This is totally unfair. When I realized it was Hanson that was producing the vague sound of Lionel Richie’s “Hello,” I honestly nearly died. It was the combination of pure glee-horror and the ensuing knowledge that these boyz who became men would be doing this again and again throughout the show that nearly did me in. Murder on the Dance Floor! (Seriously, watch that after you’re done here. I declare it required viewing for DWTS fans.)
I loved how Tom kept calling Hanson’s snippets “a touch of [whatever the song really was].” The whole thing was so ridiculous that it completely worked for Guilty Pleasures night. There was no disco-ball mold of Lionel Richie’s head, but there were enormous bubbles.
Will the birthday boy and his two babysitting charges please reveal their scores? Carrie Ann Inahhhhh-ber!
Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas: 28 out of possible 30 I barely recognized Chelsea this week and loved the very feminine updo for their quickstep, not to mention the huge white bow-belt that not too many of us couch-surfing ladies who are not 22 could pull off. The whole look was very Olivia Newton-John in Grease (with a little Frenchie thrown in, due to eyewear), and — as many DANCMSTRs pointed out in last night’s PopWatch post, Mark looked ready to do The Carlton Dance. Mark had twisted his ankle during Monday’s dress rehearsal, but luckily he is of the rubber band species, not human. So he was fine. Chelsea was apparently in it to win it (ewww, get out of my head, Randy Jackson) after a tremendous water fight that, according to Mark, “shows there’s a huge will to win.” If he says so. “I’m getting a suntan, it was so luminous!” cried Bruno, who also pointed out a wobble in the corner. Hmmm. This couple’s routines never stand out to me at the end of the show, so it’s weird writing about them first. She’s good, she’s just not…memorable enough as a contestant. I’m glad she’s doing well, but I’m not rooting for her like I am for some others. I always remember Mark’s weekly quirks better than hers.
NEXT: Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou tacky Titanic heart necklace?