Last night’s intergalactic voyage to Planet Mirrorballus was all about the judges’ crazy scoring. Michael Bolton got a 3, Bristol Palin got an 8, and a few seconds too long after Jennifer Grey’s generous scores were announced, the audience randomly started booing. “There’s booing in the ballroom; we don’t know why,” Brooke confirmed. You sillies! The booing was either a late reaction to Jennifer and Derek’s scores or an early reaction to a scintillating front-row interview with Sarah Palin. Tom Bergeron asked which was her favorite dancer and she responded “They’re all amazing!” It’s the same way she feels about all those media publications. She just loves ’em. All of ’em!
I don’t much care what someone’s mom has to say about season 11, but the booing was rude. Then again, these people boo constantly, so we’re all used to it. I happen to think there was a much bigger story in the ballroom last night: Tony promised to wax his legs if he and Audrina didn’t score three 8s tonight, and now he has to do it. Someone tell Brooke! She thinks it’s the other way around. She will get to see his sexy legs. Anyhow, onward…
Will the judges please reveal their scores? Carrie Ann In-ahhh-ber!
Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough: 24/30 For the second week in a row, the dirty dancer and Derek (EW.com correspondent, ballroom division) claimed the top spot on the JUDGES’ LEADERBOARD with a kicky jive. This, despite an alarming struggle with stamina. Jennifer basically collapsed after the dance, panting on the floor like a gold-fringed judges’ pet in search of a bone. Tom and Derek gamely joined her on the floor. “Now everyone sit. Stay!” She didn’t seem that tired during the dance — Carrie Ann (channeling Bruno) even called her a “bionic bunny.” Maybe the exhaustion was primarily due to trying to keep up with Derek’s level of facial enthusiasm? Anyway, it’s all okay because Jamie Lee Curtis thought the whole thing was fabulous. Gotta say, I didn’t know about Jennifer’s cancer, and I had absolutely no idea that Tom could do yoga positions. Sometimes Dancing With the Stars is so educational I can’t stand it. So I just help myself to a seat on my apartment’s “ballroom floor” (somewhere between the toilet and the sink). It’s easy!
Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani: 23/30 Sporting a darker blue version of Melissa Rycroft’s puzzling Spiderwoman gown from season 8, Audrina the show pony turned into The Secretariat during her lively quickstep. Bruno got in his Disney movie mention of the week, and somewhere, somehow, a bejeweled hummingbird angel got its wings. Everyone wins, except Audrina’s personal life. Her boyfriend, in particular, isn’t used to her having somewhere to be all day. Now look, I don’t like to see people cry, but I do find it funny that most of the “contestant’s crazy schedule” stories result from kids, illness, injury, extreme loss, other professional work as a celebrity, etc., while Audrina’s plight seems to be that she simply hasn’t been as available lately to jus’ chill. (I don’t know what goes on in her personal life, so sorry if this sounds insensitive. I’m just picturing her boyfriend suddenly having to order their usual sushi or Mexican takeout all by himself. Mine would be thrown off, too!)
NEXT: A part of Maks’ anatomy is going tick-tick-tick-tick.