”Shocking elimination”? Hardly! I’m not sure anyone was surprised to see manly-man Chuck Wicks, Y chromosome carrier and person who is sexually attracted to women, head home last night. Chuck departed with (strictly verbal) grace, after acknowledging Melissa ”Boneless Ribs” Rycroft’s sizable fan base and poking fun at the Adventures in Leotards that constituted Monday night’s fateful group mambo. You could potentially construe both of those comments as malicious in some way, but I don’t see the point. It’s late, and I’m buzzing on a satiny-smooth Chuck high after watching the DanceMatch spokes-couple’s interview with Jimmy Kimmel, during which Chuck insisted he didn’t realize he’d copped the infamous Samba Boob Grab last week until he and Julianne ”watched it on YouTube.” Incidentally, you’ll be able to watch him say that on ABC.com.
It was Boneless Ribs who got stuck in last night’s ”not necessarily the bottom two” along with Chuck. Samantha then decided to up the utter nonsense ante by telling Chuck and Melissa, the only stars still standing, ”we will now reveal in no particular order the couple who is safe and the couple who must go home tonight.” That’d be like if Ryan Seacrest told the American Idol screechers outright that he was about to mess with their heads for the next 15 seconds like he always does anyway. But there was no sneaky ”You are…safe…from further fracturing your ribcage!” headed Melissa’s way. Barring a medical disaster, she and Papa Bear Tony will be back next week to live up to Bruno’s proclamation that Melissa is ”one of the best dancers we’ve ever haaaaaaad!”
Whoa! Was Lost airing one night early? I could have sworn the ballroom had time-traveled back to 1977, but it turns out that was just because soul singer Robin Thicke had showed up. The much-missed Kym, Dmitry, Alec, and Edyta returned to impersonate the smiling sun from a child’s painting for ”When I Get You Alone.” Then, later on, Anya Garnis (Please. Here is money. Buy a new dress.) and Pasha Kovalev (Hiiiiii!) guested on ”Sidestep.” Robin Thicke, who has much better Simon Cowell hair than Simon Cowell, spent more than half of that song forcing us to watch him and his ”backup singers” dance instead. (Still not sure why those two women even bothered to stand behind microphones.) I must say, even though I’d rather have watched Anya and Pasha instead, I was endlessly amused at Thicke’s blatant plea to be a contestant on this show. You don’t need to audition, you know!
NEXT: This week’s Hidden Gem