‘Dancing With the Stars’ recap: It was a fait accompli
On week 8 of Dancing With the Stars, it was farewell to Maurice Greene, purportedly the hardest-working partner Cheryl Burke has ever had and the man who will ”always be the winner winner, chicken dinner” in her heart. Awww! Now I’m hungry.
Maurice’s ouster was probably the least climactic elimination of the season, since we knew either he or Cody Linley would go home. And when practically the entire hour of filler revolved around Cody’s partner Julianne having valiantly returned from an agonizing two-week absence (seemed like three!), wasn’t the writing pretty much on the rhinestone-encrusted wall? Even Mo and Cheryl gave off a sense that they’d made peace with their fate all night. Or were they just relieved that they wouldn’t have to suffer the to-be-determined worst of season 7’s endless list of injuries. There could be a coma with Cody’s name on it, y’all!
Last night also saw the return of what Samantha called the judges’ ”coffee chat,” but I suspect it was fueled by potent potables other than coffee based on the way Carrie Ann and Bruno rather amusingly competed with each other to see who could do the best impersonation of the contestants. Or the worst, actually. Those entire segments are basically excuses for Carrie Ann to say ”blagggggh!” and for Bruno to bounce around in his chair. I could only sit through 20 minutes of Bruno vs. Carrie Ann: Dance War last summer, but please tell me more happened than just that.
Samantha’s clueless comment about how she sure is glad the judges don’t do a coffee chat dissecting her and Tom’s hosting skills could have been the most delicious moment of the evening, with nary a ”chicken dinner” mention in sight! A close second: Lacey backstage, lifting up her leg à la Molly Shannon’s Sally O’Malley character on Saturday Night Live: ”Fifty, and llllllllllovin’ it!” (Wondering what the hell I’m talking about? Watch it over on PopWatch.)
Oh no, who let the audience-reactions filler segment out of the Awful Things We Never Want to See Again on DWTS box? It and Corky were getting along so well in there. Put it back this instant!
Derek and the seemingly good-as-new, or at least good-enough-to-carry-a-manchild-on-her-shoulders, Julianne performed in adorable piano-themed costumes for a piano-themed Stars of Dance segment set to ”Great Balls of Fire.” Viewers had chosen the dance, music, and people involved, so she had to emerge from the hospital, dressed in white, like an angel. I doubt DANCMSTR would have had any sautéed Stratfordshire beef with the Hough’s outstanding use of the piano as a prop — in fact, the way Julianne danced atop its keys and the way Derek slid backwards under its entire length both screamed, ”Suck it, Schwimmers!” So did the pair’s implementation of Lacey and Benji’s trademark double-assisted-cartwheel move. Okay, not really. Neither of these things suggested a ”Suck it!” vibe. It’s just more fun to create fictional sibling rivalries, because…
NEXT: Dr. Drew gets in Cody’s head