”Dancing With the Stars” recap: A milestone
Just turn around now, Mario — ’cause you’re not welcome anymore! Weren’t you the one who tried to break DANCMSTR by taking the high road and choosing to ignore his offensive comments? Did you think he’d just lay down and die? (Probably; he’s like 200.) Oh, no, not DANCMSTR! The crotchety judge got his way, and we’ve got a final four that doesn’t include the talented 21-year-old, who after Monday night’s Viennese waltz positively beamed, ”It’s official! I’m in love with the ballroom!” (It’s really too bad, since a Mario vs. Kristi final two could have been the most technically competitive face-off since Drew vs. Stacy in season 2.) But alas! As long as Mario knows how to love, I know he’ll stay alive. And at least he went out on a high note, thanking Len for all of his comments and sending a shout-out to the real role models, ”the young men and women fighting for our country.” He will only be remembered well.
Of course, Tom didn’t even announce the first safe couple (Marissa and Tony) until 9:50 p.m. because this wasn’t just any Dancing With the Stars results show — it was the 100th episode of what season 1 winner Kelly Monaco called ”the most unpredictable show on TV!” And she’s right, because on a night as star-studded and disco-tastic as this one, not even internationally renowned psychic Priscilla Presley could have predicted that Marie Osmond would not show up for an opportunity to be on live television. (Maybe she committed but then pulled out after being told she’d be relegated to the non-speaking-parts sidelines along with Joey Lawrence, Jane Seymour, Mark Cuban, et al.)
The results-show celebration of past (and better) seasons opened with a typically outlandish big pro dance, aptly set to the Black Crowes’ ”Hard to Handle.” Back in da hizzouse/bizzallroom: Ashly DelGrosso (really cute hair) and EW.com correspondent Maksim Chmerkovskiy! The dance, which, like many of the other pro exhibitions, could be described by just dangling a luscious ball of golden fringe over someone’s head while they sleep, had all the ingredients you’d expect for such a momentous occasion: an incredible Jonathan-to-Maks aerial handoff of Karina, Louis and Derek’s ”let’s take it down a notch and show our technical precision, and ability to do back flips!” break, and all the men diving through their partner’s legs in a ”wave” effect (Maks did a split!) to finish with a flourish.
NEXT: Apolo and Julianne still got it