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Dancing with the Stars recap: Photo Finish

On the ”Dancing With the Stars” results show, model Josie Maran, who evidently should have stuck with still photography, is the first to go; fortunately, Kenny Mayne lightened things up

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Moran
Craig Sjodin

Dancing With the Stars

type:
TV Show
genre:
Reality TV
run date:
03/21/11
performer:
Tom Bergeron, Carrie Ann Inaba, Bruno Tonioli, Len Goodman, Erin Andrews, Julianne Hough
broadcaster:
ABC
seasons:
24
Current Status:
In Season

”Dancing With the Stars”: The first elimination

Who’s gonna drive Josie Maran home tonight? Probably a limo. It was oddly fitting but mostly just odd that ”Drive” played during the booted supermodel’s last dance, considering that Paulina Porizkova, last season’s first eliminee, made her big break scribbling backward against a wall in that Cars video. Way to drive home the point that models will always lose first, producers. I think I get it now!

No one can be surprised that Josie was the first to go. (Watch the episode.) On Monday night, Carrie Ann flat out told her, ”Dancing doesn’t come naturally — that’s obvious,” before copping a Paula by throwing in the phrase ”a beautiful smile” out of nowhere. DANCMSTR hated Josie’s fox-trot and said, ”It just didn’t happen. I’m sorry.” He’s such a liar. And the Bruno’s Flowering Imagery of the Week Award, which I’ve been waiting to give out for a whole three days now, was this: ”You look like a beautiful sailing ship stranded on a sandbar.” Oh believe me, they’ll get better.

I just watched Josie on Jimmy Kimmel Live, and she seemed a bit disillusioned by the whole experience, but not enough to be nasty about it. Well, other than the comment, ”I should have cut off my legs.” Yes, plural. She did mention that parts of her interview in which she talked about her daughter and being a mom had been edited out of her intro segment. Raise an arched Latin-style hand if you’re not surprised. Oh my, what beautiful lines!

Speaking of Kimmel, I was pleased to see what I hope will be a continuing trend of him not appearing on results-show nights. Kenny Mayne’s goofball segment, called ”The Origins of Dance,” was the perfect antidote to the canned-ham main fare of results nights. I loved his deadpan delivery and the way he never acknowledged his purple, sequin-studded blouse. Some of the jokes had nothing to do with anything (”Don’t worry about the people behind me”) and others — the insinuation that dance began when Len Goodman showed up on British television, and obligatory knocks at the Lachey brothers and George Hamilton — marked what this show could always use more of: the chance to make fun of itself. See you next week, Mayne? And ditch the caveman!

Dolly Parton stopped by. That outfit was something fierce, give or take the ”fierce.” She was amusing as usual. Nothing beats the irony of taking notes on a reality show called Dancing With the Stars while Dolly sings that you ”Better Get to Livin’.” I suggest you try it.

Tap dancer Savion Glover and his backups performed on casket-like platforms of wood. Dug the green boots, but the dry ice surrounding the guy on his left was pretty out of control. Is dry ice typical for tap routines? Doesn’t it kind of negate the purpose of looking at the people’s feet when all we can see is smoke? I care so little about the answer to that question that I’m not going to bother to delete it.

So, will the other bottom dweller, Mark Cuban, be the next to go? After just one dance, who are you rooting for to win the whole season? And isn’t it kind of cool that by the end of this grueling three-night week 1, it’s already Thursday? Holla atcha, Thursday! Let us know what you think on the message board below, then go to our TV Poll and vote for your favorite Dancing With the Stars contestant.