On Tuesday’s season 13, week 6 results show of Dancing With the Stars, beaming non-penguin Chaz Bono and his happy-footed partner Lacey Scwhimmer were expelled from DANCMSTR’s School of Sequins. I don’t think he’s looked that happy in weeks. What a weird “in jeopardy” shot that was, with Chaz and Lacey on one side and Hope Solo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy — who also seemed so over it — on the other. They all looked like they wanted out. Sing to me, my angel of freedom!
Alas, only one of these couples could be released from the reality TV torture chamber that is Planet Mirrorballus. Chaz said doing the show was “the hardest thing on every level” that he’s ever experienced, but he was glad he suffered through it, “because I wanted to show America a different kind of man. If there was somebody like me on TV when I was growing up, my whole life would have been different.”
Three 10s for that, indeed.
The results show brought us the audio and visual aftermath of Monday night‘s heated exchange between DANCMSTR Len Goodman and THGHMSTR Maksim Chmerkovskiy. I enjoyed hearing the judges commiserate after Maks and Hope had walked away about how terrible they really, truly did believe that rumba was (“No, it was horrible.” “It was awful!”) and seeing Carrie Ann’s over-the-top reaction to Maks’ claim that this was his show. He apologized for that remark, by the way, explaining that “I kind of had an idea in my head and it came out wrong. It’s not my show. I’m part of a very large cast and I’m very proud of being here.”
I loved Brooke Burke’s bold declaration after the rehash of all the Maks vs. Len drama that it was “just as awkward the second time around.” She had a rather non-bot-ish week, don’t you think? How do you feel about that? How do you feel?
Until Tuesday I was still a little unclear on what exactly a “Corbin Bleu” was and was happy to keep on associating his name with a chicken entree. But there he was, for a Macy’s number created by Kenny Ortega, during which the High School Musical star paid tribute to the streets of Broadway by donning various bright colors and getting spun around in a cage by “16 of the most talented dancers in L.A.” I didn’t hate this; I just couldn’t get into it for some reason. (Distracting fantasies about chicken.) All due respect to the esteemed film and stage director, but I much preferred Lacey and Mark’s interpretation of what exactly Halloween is in the sparkly otherworld. Everybody scream! Yes, you, weird little zombie girl in pink!
NEXT: Annie’s Top Seh-vehhhhhhhn! Moments of the Results Show