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Dallas recap: The Family That Blackmails Together...

Bobby will always protect Southfork, and Christopher thinks John Ross is even worse than J.R.

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Dallas Recap
Skip Bolen/TNT


TV Show
Current Status:
In Season
Barbara Bel Geddes, Linda Gray, Larry Hagman, Patrick Duffy, Charlene Tilton, Victoria Principal

There was an awful lot of talking in this episode and not nearly enough sex. Let’s work on that ratio, Dallas.

We opened with John Ross and Pamela returning from their honeymoon. Yes, they had sex in the limo on their way to Southfork (poor driver). But not before John Ross talked about the drilling site and assured Pamela that he was close to signing the deal with Emma to lease the Ryland Transportation ice breaker ships. It seems now that the wedding Pamela was so busy letting Sue Ellen and Ann plan planning has passed, she’s ready to get back to work.

At the Southfork site, someone had dropped his tools down the well and broke a bit. Or something. I tend to gloss over the oil talk. Bottom line: John Ross behaved like an ass, telling the men to work themselves ragged while he offered to pop for a coffee truck, put on his shades, smirked at Bobby in the distance, and jumped back into his limo.

Sue Ellen, meanwhile, was in Austin bringing Governor Steven Weber some J.R. Ewing bourbon (we get it!) and trying to blackmail him into replacing his deep-pocketed buddy Stanley on the Texas Railroad Commission with someone who would revoke John Ross’ drilling license on Southfork. He wouldn’t do it, but somehow, Sue Ellen told Bobby the trip was a success and he took the bait. She wanted to let the governor know Stanley was in a vulnerable position and in need of help.

In Mexico, Nicolas and Elena visited Cliff, who seemed concerned that Nicolas kinda sucks at being a bastard. No, he’s good, Cliff. In the barn at Southfork, Christopher caught up with Heather, and they decided neither of them is up for anything serious, so they were okay to have drinks that night. At the office, John Ross introduced Bobby to some hideous statue he’d brought home from his honeymoon and had yet another fight with Sue Ellen about how he’s not his father. I really do want to kick John Ross square in the nuts for thinking Pamela will never find out about him boning Emma, which he told Sue Ellen he was done doing.

Once John Ross argued with Christopher about the latest ranch hands he’d laid off, he went to see Emma. God, he’s sooo see-through, giving her a necklace before asking her to get her grandmother to sign the leases for the ships. Ann saw John Ross leaving Emma’s room and marched in so Emma could say hateful things to her. Then Ann kicked Emma off of Southfork.

Nicolas and Elena hooked up with a state attorney who J.R. had bullied into dropping the bribery case his office was building against Sue Ellen. They asked him to give them access to J.R.’s murder file in exchange for getting the credit when it’s time to bring the Ewings down.

Ann called Harris and told him Emma was loose and she couldn’t find her. To his credit, Harris didn’t make Ann feel guilty about giving her the boot — because he knows how dreadful Emma is these days, I assume. He called his hot CIA contact and met him to ask to get out of his dealings with the cartel. CIA boy had a lot of dialogue that amounted to, “No.” Harris has records of the guy’s secret offshore bank accounts where he stashes money from his illegal black ops. If the guy won’t let Harris out, the least he can do is use some of his own money to get Harris’ family more protection. Hell, have this hot guy start dating Emma, Harris. If he paid her more attention than John Ross, sold. Nice of Harris to just blackmail a guy in a restaurant booth between two other booths. Soundproof apparently!

NEXT PAGE: Unexpected kid and expected blackmail

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