Welcome back to (Badly titled) Cougar Town! This week, Grayson realized his girlfriend was a warden and he was in hell, so he transformed her long-lost son’s bedroom into the awesome “jam room” she’d always wanted. This was actually based on a real-life jam sesh at Jimmy Kimmel’s house earlier this year, where Courteney Cox played drums, Christa Miller tried out piano, and they called the moonshine they were drinking “footshine”! It all comes together! Series creator Bill Lawrence apparently plucks Cougar Town plots from Courteney’s life on a regular basis — she also named a huge wine glass Big Joe! (Watch her on Sept. 20’s Kimmel for more.)
Travis was having a college crisis: He needed help reinventing himself as a silent badass, just like Harry Potter. (In the last book. You’ve probably read it.) But no big deal. Dork University’s only like 20 minutes away, and since no one on Cougar Town works anymore (beyond the Neighborhood Watch, of course), they were all free to jump to Squarehead’s rescue.
Meanwhile, Laurie got Ellie’s new nanny, Rosa, to do the worst thing imaginable: act like her friend. The horror! “Chess with a monkey, bitch. You just got owned and served!” beamed Laurie, who sometimes needs her BUILDING MANAGER to help her into tight jeans. She is surely headed to a special place in hell reserved for murderers and pageant moms. And awful denim…and broken glowsticks.
My Top 10 quotes and moments of the episode:
10. “Do you want to quit college and come home? Because I will tell everyone you have Mono!” –Jules to Squarehead
9. Bobby rocking the Half and Half (jean shorts/half-shirt, which women rudely stole from him)
9b. Andy’s impression of Burt Reynolds
8. “These are my standing jeans. I’m just gonna relax my body and crumble to the ground. No, I won’t, because the jeans are holding me up!” –Jules. That’s so Monica!
7. Andy’s “Cuban Muscle Crisis”
6. “I ‘lived’ in a women’s prison once.” –Laurie, who thought the main purpose of NWA was to represent Compton. “Whaaaaat?” Cracker Alert!
5. “Hey, Hot Dog” –the text Jules was about to send to her “own pale little science project” from Laurie’s phone
4. The wine-dumping fakeout. No need to waste it just because generous/detestable neighbor Tom makes it with his feet. Alcohol is sterile; they use it in hospitals. Cheers to Sweaty Foot Wine!
3. Hot Flash bothering to sew a giant “FAKE” patch onto Laurie’s handbag
2. Every time Jules wormed back in to put the new glasses on Chuckles. “Hello, Jeff Goldblum!”
1. Laurie keeping the glowstick in her bra!
Hidden Gem of the Week: The “Life’s a Gamble And You Lose” poster behind Andy in the Jam Room
Were any of my favorite moments yours, too? Did anyone else want to know where Andy’s “The good thing about burgers….” was headed? Discuss last night’s Cougar Town below!
Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett
DON’T MISS: Embedded below, listen to the first edition of EW.com’s TV Insiders podcast. Michael Slezak, Michael Ausiello (who also gives his picks for best and worst new show of the new season), Jeff “Doc” Jensen, Dalton Ross, and yours truly break down the week in television and present it to you in an easily digestible audio format. Or click here to download TV Insiders to your MP3 player!