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The Celebrity Apprentice recap: Bret Michaels Shows Off His Cold Sore!

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Celebrity Apprentice Michaels
Ali Goldstein/NBC

The Celebrity Apprentice

type:
TV Show
Current Status:
On Hiatus
seasons:
14
broadcaster:
NBC
genre:
Reality TV

Donald Trump hates Bret Michaels. Yes, it’s true, he has put the Poison frontman through to the finals, but look at the evidence! He tried like hell to fire Bret after the Harry Potter challenge, but was foiled when his reality TV goldmine Rod ”Your Technology Scares and Confuses Me” Blagojevich refused to bring Bret back into the Boardroom. Then, last week when Cyndi and Holly were attacking each other in the Boardroom and Bret did what Trump always tells people to do when two other people are arguing — stay quiet! — The Donald all of sudden attacked Bret as being weak and not as strong as the women.

But the clearest evidence of Trump’s outright hatred of the rock & roller was revealed in this latest episode. After putting Holly and Bret through to the finals and setting them off on their task to create a new flavor and corresponding ad campaign for Snapple, Trump presented the finalists with their support teams of former players. I always liked in previous Apprenticeseasons where contestants would fight over or draft the former contestants they wanted on their team, but now Trump just assigns as he sits fit. Whom did Holly get? She got two of the final five, Maria and Curtis. (Sharon was no doubt still off sobbing on Adrian the elevator operator’s shoulder.) Very strong supporting cast for Holly. Okay, and whom did Bret get? He got Summer, who’s a diligent worker. Good selection. And then he got…Darryl Strawberry?!? The worst Celebrity Apprentice contestant ever? And I mean that, too. Sure, Blago may have been an ineffectual joke, but at least the dude was AWAKE! All Strawberry did on each task was sleep or talk about wanting to go to sleep, before finally quitting because he simply missed sleep too much.

Sorry, Donald, but I have to call you out as a… SABOTEUR! Why else put Darryl back in the game (other than the fact that he was already in New York so they didn’t have to spend the cash to fly someone back in)? True, lame players have been brought back before to help out with the final challenge, but never this lame, and those ones were usually brought back because they added some element of drama, tension, or inadvertent comedy to the proceedings. Strawberry adds nothing. I don’t know if The Donald is getting back at Bret for performing the Tour Bus Thrust with Ivanka after a Poison show or what, but it just seemed like cruel and unusual punishment to give a guy who is already so scatterbrained a zero like Strawberry as a helper.

Of course, the irony is that with all of Bret’s real life medical issues that have come up after the show stopped taping, he is the one that everyone is rooting for, and he is the guy that would make the great story as the winner. But has Trump now crippled Bret’s chances by giving him a dude that can’t even stop the other team from stealing his Snapple flavor because he was too busy taking photos with fans at the mall? SABOTEUR!!!

NEXT: You stay classy, Celebrity Apprentice

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