This week’s Brothers and Sisters, “The Righteous Kiss,” would have been better if we could have focused more on Kitty and Cooper’s respective first smooches. Instead, much of the episode centered on the Holly/Rebecca/Justin plot so that Rebecca (aka Emily VanCamp) could leave the show. First, The Runaway Holly scampered up to Nora’s front door and begged for help. She hid in the bathroom for a few minutes as Nora freaked out — what if she killed herself? This was Holly’s cue to open the door and suggest that in her current state of uncertainty, she could have killed someone else on her way to the house! Conclusion: “I think you need to take me to the hospital.”
Holly continued to ladle out a word soup of harsh truths to Rebecca, apologizing again for her inability to find any loving feelings for her daughter. There’s so much proof that at one point she cared, but she just doesn’t care right now! She can’t. She has amnesia. Rebecca’s star-crossed lover Justin listened from outside the hospital room, flinching in disbelief. Surely Rebecca would want to stay with him even though her presence had become a detriment to her mother’s condition. They loved each other, right?
It wasn’t that easy. Rebecca had been offered a job at Tribeca Magazine in New York City, because there are always tons of openings for L.A.-based photographers with minimal experience in the NYC media industry. Justin and Rebecca decided that instead of the pair of star-crossed lovers who took their lives, they were a pair of star-crossed lovers who saved each other’s lives. Rebecca left a photo in Justin’s kitchen, then took a photo of her dad kissing her mom and walked away forever in her cool, photographer-ly leather jacket. Because she’s a photographer.
I don’t know if it was the dreamy swelling music, the young-photographer-leaving-for-New York plot line, Rachel Griffiths as a cast member, or some weird combo platter of all three, but I got a distinct Six Feet Under series-finale vibe as Rebecca walked away. It lasted about a second and I feel blasphemous even bringing it up.
Sarah, whose “newly empowered superbitch” hair looked amazing in her last scene, spent the episode hemming and hawing over Cooper’s increasingly poor chances of getting into an exclusive junior high. A horrible shrew named Gloria had reduced Sarah to the level of her home-maintenance staff — “a whole army of Third Worlders losing your socks and shrinking your sweaters.” Sarah had to make all of the costumes for Cooper’s elementary school production of Romeo and Juliet. With Nora deposed taking care of Holly, it was the gays to the rescue! Saul, Kevin, and Saul’s new friend Charlie — a stunning Tim Gunn knockoff who used to design costumes in mid-’60s Paris (!!!) — played the fleet of thread-happy house mice to Sarah’s lowly Cinderelly. My favorite line of the night came from Charlie: “Well, Juliet’s done. Let me get my hands on Mercutio.”
The fruits of Sarah’s labors failed her in what turned out to be a fantastic revenge plot. Gloria’s son Tucker had to run off the stage after his costume ripped — what a waste, considering “the coaching he got from Denzel.” Then, the play’s Juliet was so flummoxed after Cooper dipped her hard for the big kiss that she ran away too, sending Gloria’s scenery toppling to the stage. Blame Luc! He created that monster during his adorable bedside chat with Cooper, as he taught him, “You don’t kiss with this [pointing to his incredible shiny hair] but with this [pointing to his miraculous pecs].”
NEXT: Naked co-parenting, and home-improvement metaphors for sexytimes.