You are officially exiting the Fun Zone. Please defrost all tips and return any unused bottles of Liquid Moan to the nearest convenience mart. Tuesday’s episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine concluded the three-part adventure of the witness-protected Jake and Holt in sunny, skeezy Coral Palms, Florida, and finally, Jake faced off with Figgis and saw Amy’s face again (and it was a little awkward, after that six-month hiatus). Jake wound up as Figgis’ hostage and reacquainted awkwardly with his girlfriend, but in the end, with the help of the Nine-Nine, Figgis was apprehended and Jamy/Ake/Peraltiago/Santialta was mended.
After a season of build-up, the takedown of Figgis felt somewhat underwhelming, and Roberts seemed restrained in the role, not quite the demented mafia boss that we’d heard all about. (Unless you’re telling me that Pimento was an unreliable narrator?) That said, the episode had a few standout moments, such as the scene where Jake was too squeamish to help Holt remove the pipe in his leg, requiring Holt to pull it out himself while offering Jake big-boy encouragement as if Jake were the one trying to tolerate the procedure. The length of time spent in Florida was just about right, but it felt good to have the full squad back in action. Of course, their reunion will be an after-hours one: C.J.’s punishment for insubordination is night duty. (It may not last long, though, as Holt will clearly be returning to command once his leg heals.)
Young Jeezy, take the wheel while we listen to one of Terry’s disturbing lullabies, boost our bottom, chug a Blazing Blue Radberry Cooler Extreme: Code Rad, and count down the nine best lines of the night before this Ambie kicks in.
9. “Thank you. Congrats on sucking.” —Jake to Figgis, after he said to him, “Congratulations on escaping from prison.”
8. “I can prove it — look up ‘Brooklyn detective attacked by birds,’ you’ll see an article with a photo of me. “ —Charles to local cop after he didn’t believe Terry’s claim that they were NYPD
7. “Uhh, this might be the ambie speaking, but this in-flight movie sucks,” and “Oof. Poor Jake.“ —Gina and Diaz when Amy says on their road trip to Florida, “Ooh! We’re crossing into Virginia! Fun fact: Virginia is not technically a state but a commonwealth.”
6. “Yes. Did you miss us? Quick follow-up: Did you ever look up at the moon and wonder if I was looking at it too?” —Charles, after Jake laid out the plan to nail Figgis and asked if there were any questions (Tied with: “I don’t know, maybe we’ve grown apart. Maybe she’ll be repulsed by my frosted tips. I was going to defrost them before I saw her for the first time.” —Jake to Holt when he asks why it will be weird to see Amy again after six months)
5. “Pretty sure? Do you arrest someone if you’re pretty sure they’re guilty? No, Amy! You wait till you get all the facts! —Scully, after Amy notices his packing food for the road and says that she’s pretty sure that there will be snacks in Florida
4. “Hey Figgis! My fiancé, Adrian Pimento said when I caught you I should read you this letter. [pulls out letter] ‘I wanna lick the skin off your body.’ Uh, that side’s for me. [turns over letter] ‘I want to rip the skin off your body, Jimmy.’” —Diaz to Figgis in custody
3. “Okay, well good talk. Don’t die. Holt had very soft lips. Wish I hadn’t said that one either. We should get into positions.” —Jake to Amy while they were about to kiss and she said that Figgis just arrived
2. “But isn’t Gina Linetti more of a state of mind? Like in a way, we were all Gina Linetti today. [to paramedic] Gina, let’s take this Gina to the hospital.” —Gina to Holt after she said that she was the real hero of this operation
1. “All right, this is going to hurt, but I’m going to get you through it…. Oh god! I’m going to throw up into your cut. Ahhh! I saw inside of you! How are humans alive?” —a grossed-out Jake to Holt, who needs to have a rod removed from his leg