Even if “pooping while giving birth” isn’t one of your go-to conversation topics, the moment when Abbi and Ilana discuss this phenomenon is one of the episode’s best: They have this talk while sitting on Abbi’s bed, frosty beverages in hand. There’s nothing fancy about this scene, as it’s just the two of them in a darkly lit room hanging out and chatting about weird subjects, as friends do—and yet, it stands out because it perfectly represents Abbi and Ilana’s beautiful, funny, and boundary-less relationship.
It also stands out because this is an episode where Abbi and Ilana don’t seem to spend that much time together. Instead, it focuses on their lives at work, which differ wildly: Abbi works hard to get ahead but is stuck wearing a shirt that reads “CLEANER” at the gym while Ilana apparently goes to work just to hang out without any desire to actually, you know, work.
But before we talk jobs, let’s talk Bevers because he is still the worst. I didn’t expect this to change from one season to to the next, as the debut season very clearly established that no one likes him—but I did hope he would somehow disappear from Astoria and find a new person’s apartment to crash. Sadly, this didn’t happen… and he even gets the spotlight for most of this episode. Cue groans.
Like me, Abbi is at her limit with Bevers. He spends so much time on the couch that he’s developed a bedsore; he installs a mini-fridge in the living room mere steps from the actual fridge; he’s all-around gross. So she scolds him, and that scolding inspires him to go to the gym. Her gym. Where she has to train him. I’ve never felt more pity for a television character (except for maybe Jesse on Breaking Bad, but even he would probably feel bad for Abbi).
Before all this goes down though, she discovers she’s alone in her apartment—a rarity—and responds by taking off all her clothes and dancing to Lady Gaga’s “The Edge of Glory.” This scene is one epic, beautiful uninterrupted shot, made even more epic by Abbi’s A-plus lip-synching and her tendency to serenade wall art. If this doesn’t deserve an Emmy, I don’t know what does.
Meanwhile, Ilana is striking up conversations at work—or trying to. “Do you ever get hair from your head stuck in your butt crack in the shower?” she asks her coworker with the same nonchalance someone would ask “How are you?” Then her boss swoops in to say that if Ilana doesn’t make a deal by day’s end, she’s fired. This ultimatum gives Ilana a burst of energy, and she gets to work by hiring unpaid interns and making them do her work. Turns out Ilana is a pretty cool boss (who would probably get reported to HR within minutes in reality, but oh well!), and she’s on a high from the power.
At lunch though, Ilana shows off what she calls her “white power suit” and Abbi brings her down by pointing out that calling it a “white power suit” maybe isn’t the best idea. Ilana also spills what looks like barbecue sauce on the suit’s lapel, so her day is going south rather quickly.
Abbi, who the restaurant’s hostess confuses for a man—”I wear a ponytail out one time,” she mutters—decides that it’s better to be training than cleaning, even if it means training her unwanted roommate. So she tries to get Bevers’ bedsore-covered, fart-producing butt in gear with about as much enthusiasm as she displayed in her solo “Edge of Glory” performance until he falls off the treadmill and gets a concussion, causing him to head home where Abbi’s responsible for making sure he stays awake for eight hours. The purpose of her Oprah tramp-stamp, a constant symbol of encouragement, is extremely apparent at this point.
While Abbi is tending to Bevers at the gym/playing Mother Teresa, Ilana is letting her unpaid interns go with a dramatic speech about how they deserve money. Ilana is nowhere near responsible, but she does have a good heart and it shows in this moment—she even gives them payment IOUs on index cards, which inspire the interns to—probably rightfully—roll their eyes. You’ll appreciate her one day, kids (and the one very grown adult who for some reason agreed to an unpaid internship).
But Ilana ends the day with four deals (that she didn’t land) under her belt and a compliment from her boss: “Your outfit is close to appropriate!” he congratulates her. (We bet he misses her signature bra though.)
Abbi and Ilana kind of did their bests at their day jobs, so they reward themselves by chilling on Abbi’s bed and keeping Bevers awake with a homemade contraption that involves string and lots of sweat bands. They might not be successful in their professional lives, but in their personal ones? Abbi and Ilana are killing it. Oprah would be proud.