Thanksgiving is the best holiday. Dre seems to think so, too, because he starts this episode by listing off all the great things about it: Food, football, parade. Well, there’s also the whole genocide thing, but maybe it’s easier if we just focus on the parade and stuff. Anyway, this Thanksgiving is special, because it features a guest appearance from Lorraine Toussaint as Dre’s Aunt Almaviligerais (or A.V.). She’s Pops’ sister, and she and Ruby despise each other. Dre, naturally, tries to play both sides. He disses her when he’s with Ruby but praises her in person, and desperately doesn’t want to have to choose between them. For him, that would be Sophie’s Choice, a movie he may or may not have actually seen.
This simmering tension between A.V., Ruby, and Pops doesn’t stop Dre and Bow from taking off for a pre-Thanksgiving romantic getaway and leaving the kids in their care. Naturally, as soon as they’re gone, both the kids and the grandparents get up to no good. A.V. meets with Pops in secret and asks for payment on something. Junior overhears a bit of this and tells his siblings they might finally solve “one of our great family mysteries.” His siblings all respond to this with sarcastic answers, but Junior’s actually talking about the origin of the rivalry between Ruby and A.V., which apparently remains unclear to them. Of course, he doesn’t have that information yet, so they start coming up with theories based on the meager evidence.
Meanwhile, Dre and Bow are all set for their final pre-baby romance, but unfortunately Bow’s feeling some blues. She just realized her morning sickness has stopped, which means the first trimester is over. That doesn’t seem like a problem, until Bow notes that since this is the last kid they plan to have, this is her last pregnancy, which means she’ll never have morning sickness again. That makes her somewhat sad, since, in her words, she’s good at being pregnant. Bow thinks she’s good at everything, of course. To help her work off the stress, Dre orders two masseuses. Two women masseuses, that is. Bow doesn’t think a woman can work out all her kinks, but Dre doesn’t want another man touching his wife. They compromise with a woman for Bow and a man for Dre, which Dre is decidedly not happy about.
Pops meets A.V. in the laundry room to give her some of the money he owes her. Ruby finds them and assumes they’re doing a drug deal, but actually it’s just the leftover money from the sale of Pops’ secret condo where he used to meet his mistresses. He and A.V. hid the existence of this secret spot from Ruby, both to cover up his cheating and to stop it from being part of the divorce settlement. Ruby thinks she deserves some of that money, too — and she has a point, considering the subterfuge and all. When Pops and A.V. decline to give her any, Ruby promises vengeance instead.
Jack heard some of that dirty deal, but really only understood the part with the dirty money. He assumes they must have robbed a bank and are disputing over how to split the loot. “That’s so far-fetched,” Junior declares, before launching into his theory of how the three adults must have been in on the conspiracy to fake the moon landing. The idea of dirty secret family money does have a certain sway, though, especially since, as Junior notes, “Does anyone seriously believe Dad is good enough at anything to afford this lifestyle?” Zoe always assumed their mom just had self-esteem issues, but that’s not good enough for Junior. Assuming the money must be hidden somewhere, he punches a hole in Zoe’s wall to look for it, causing all his siblings to freak out.
NEXT: The truth is revealed