I’m not a believer of many things. Ghosts, UFOs, life after love — good luck convincing me these exist. But one thing I do firmly believe in is karma. And I could look no further than last night’s episode of The Biggest Loser for total and complete validation.
Just look at the way things played out during the course of the episode: We had Mike, a contestant who, up to this point, had pulled at our heartstrings and tickled our funny bones. But three weeks after an Olympics-centric episode that focused on goodwill and all sorts of warm fuzzies, the white team member morphed into a James Bond villain right before our eyes. He was controlling. He was manipulative. He spouted lines like: ”You don’t put up a good weight for my team, you’re going. You’re no use to me.” Seriously, all the guy was missing was a white fluffy cat and a swivel chair!
Yet, like every great Bond villain, Mike got his comeuppance. No, he wasn’t eaten by piranhas, or sucked out of an airplane. Instead, he had to live with the fact that his plan to stack up his own team backfired, leading to the ouster of one of his good friends.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s start at the beginning! After all, before we left the ranch three weeks ago for NBC’s Olympics hiatus, we watched rhyming pals Cheryl and Darrell (yes, he does exist) face off for an elimination challenge. Unfortunately, this wasn’t too much of a cliffhanger, because it was pretty obvious what the results would be. Almost immediately after he began balancing a torch atop his head, Darrell — who suffers from knee problems — began grimacing in obvious pain. Cheryl, on the other hand, boasted a face so stoic it was as if she were watching Bio-Dome. It’s almost not fair — presenting Darrell with a challenge that solely depended on the strength of his knees is like forcing Stephanie and Daris to participate in a beard-off. And as expected, Darrell dropped his torch in just under 10 minutes, leading the black team member to pack his bags after a tearful goodbye with his daughter.
Now, are you ready for more challenges? Clearly trying to compensate for their lame 5-calorie M&Ms-centric temptation a few weeks ago, Biggest Loser producers stocked up on what looked like hundreds of yummy, yummy cookies for a memory-inspired challenge. I understand that the show has to buy a few extra cookies for a safety net when it comes to these challenges, but, really, how memory challenged do they expect our contestants to be? It’s not like this is a memory battle between Grandpa Simpson and Mr. Magoo! But not only did the contestants find themselves face-to-face with a ginormous pile of cookies, they also were greeted by Ali, who was donning a distractingly sparkly pink top under a grey cardigan. (The whole outfit made her look like she was called to the set halfway between her transformation from Jerrica to Jem.) And our dear host told them the news of the week: Whoever won this temptation would be able to divvy up this year’s blue and black teams. As Ashley said, ”Here comes the drama!” Not only that, but the winner of the challenge would also be allowed to grant one contestant immunity for this week’s elimination. All they would have to do is match up two golden tickets on a giant memory board. (If the winner is Charlie Bucket, who’s Slugworth? It’s got to be Miggy, right?)
NEXT: Jillian’s inner fat kid peeks out