We have come a long way, fellow Biggest Loser fans. Just four months ago, we watched our unhealthy contestants huff and puff their way through climbing a small flight of stairs. Now they’re running marathons. That’s right: marathons. Let me channel Keanu for a second and simply say, whoa. The whole scene last night was so inspiring, I don’t want to believe that we’ll have to say goodbye to one of the four at the beginning of next week’s finale. But before we get to all that buzz-killing yellow line nonsense, let’s rewind a bit.
At the beginning of the episode, we met our final four, who stood on a stage in front of a large movie screen. For they are rock stars now, don’t you know? All of a sudden, the light behind them flashed brightly. Daris, mistaking this for lightening and remembering the scene in Twister when the tornado ripped through the drive-in movie screen, ran inside the ranch, found a bathtub, and placed a mattress over his head. Ashley came inside to get Daris, telling him that the lights, like the siren from weeks back, was no indication of a tornado, and Daris came back out, fears officially quelled.
That would have probably been more relaxing than having to watch footage of themselves from the entire season on the big screen. Because Biggest Loser hates when its contestants are comfortable, Daris, Ashley, Mike, and Koli were forced to stand directly in front of the screen and crane their necks back to see the footage. I’m beginning to think Biggest Loser is actually produced by owls.
But after watching themselves on screen — something I imagine the contestants are quite tired of by this time — the final four headed home. Mike went back to Chicago to show people how he’s changed. Not only has he lost weight, but now he can accessorize! Ashley headed back to Tennessee, a non-smoking woman. Daris rode in a car home to Oklahoma, wearing flannel fit for his state. Koli went back to his high school, where he ”took [his] shirt off for the first time.” (I’m assuming he’s talking about the first weigh-in.) And each of our contestants had one thing in common: boatloads of people waiting to cheer for their arrival. Now, I’m assuming a good number of these folks are fans of the show, and they aren’t all acquaintances of our contestants, right? Because the only place where I have as many friends as Daris & Co., is on Facebook, and I would bet that only 15 percent of them would actually travel to a gymnasium to cheer on my weight loss.
NEXT: Marathon man (and… woman…)